Teeth!

Hiya,

i wrote a long reply, but then safari crashed and it went poof. So here are the bits I remember.

What you say above is all very logical and true. I am very aware that not dealing with it now is just leaving problems for later. By not dealing with it now I know I am being I am short sighted and silly. I feel guilty / ashamed about that. My emotion (anxiety, fear) are making me act illogically (which I don't like.)

i think there are a few issues involved. I think the big 2 are:

1: communication anxiety

2: process, sensory, pacing

1: at the moment I cannot talk (have not had any speech for about a week.).  Last time I could talk when I arrived but i felt the language ability slowly drain away. By the time we got into the room I was signing but my partner who was with me (who is lovely) was struggling to interpretet.

Everyone talked really fast and I could not keep up. They told my partner stuff but said it so fast I could not understand. he then agreed to something and they started telling me things to do with no explanation of what was happening.

It was very Unpleasent before I even got to the dentistry bit. 

2: I don't know what's going to happen, what the social rules are, when to get in the chair, get out or what they even mean by 'are you comfortable'. Last time I felt an intense pressure too 'stop making a fuss' but i didn't know what they wanted. By the end I felt like a bad person who had wasted everyone's time.

There are some other factors too. Simple stuff really like the sensory side (noise, textures, cold and hot things).

Finally, The timing and pacing was really weird. Lots of time traveling, then into a waiting room (which was loud and full of things to look at, posters to read etc etc) then into the little room with the chair. Then everything is so fast.

I wonder if there is an (adult) autie friendly dentist in london.

I think, if they would be willing between me, my partner and my best friend (he also carers for me a lot) we could come up with something which would work. It's what we did for the hairdresser. 

(In brief, Mike takes me in the car, there's a really little hair salon we found. They have a guy who specialises in kids hair and he does the cut but does not use the loud buzzer. 

They know upfront I won't speak and they let me wait in a quiet place and take breaks. mike does all the social stuff I can focus on staying calm and keeping the flaps down. The guy is gentle and after the cut we leave. 

Mike pays on my behalf and then I pay him back via the Internet later)

Now I think about it, I can think of the advice I would give if someone asked me:

1: one visit for them to look, then give lots and lots of time to explain procedure and processes. What's going to happen in detail. Perhaps write it down. Make a visual progress  diagram I could refer too. (Eg I need to know if I am on step 2 of 6 or 4 of 5 etc). 

2: discuss communication issues upfront. Make sure they know before I arrive if I can speak or not and ensure that if I cannot speak they understand how AAC Is used. Eg, they won't read half complete sentences off the screen and reply before I have finished. They won't just explain it to whoever is with me and then move on before I understand. 

3: Avoid wooly language. 'Almost done" is useless. Combined with knowing the process this would massively reduce the anxiety. 

4: a break between travel, time in the small room and then traveling home. Allow for decompression.

I suppose I have answered my own question somewhat. Will point Mike at this post and see if he would be okay to help me arrange such a thing.

This is one of those things where I am lucky that people are willing to help me (Mike is awesome) But at the same time I feel a burden for asking and just keep telling myself if I just tried harder it would be fine.

Hope that makes some sense.

Jamie + Lion

Hiya,

i wrote a long reply, but then safari crashed and it went poof. So here are the bits I remember.

What you say above is all very logical and true. I am very aware that not dealing with it now is just leaving problems for later. By not dealing with it now I know I am being I am short sighted and silly. I feel guilty / ashamed about that. My emotion (anxiety, fear) are making me act illogically (which I don't like.)

i think there are a few issues involved. I think the big 2 are:

1: communication anxiety

2: process, sensory, pacing

1: at the moment I cannot talk (have not had any speech for about a week.).  Last time I could talk when I arrived but i felt the language ability slowly drain away. By the time we got into the room I was signing but my partner who was with me (who is lovely) was struggling to interpretet.

Everyone talked really fast and I could not keep up. They told my partner stuff but said it so fast I could not understand. he then agreed to something and they started telling me things to do with no explanation of what was happening.

It was very Unpleasent before I even got to the dentistry bit. 

2: I don't know what's going to happen, what the social rules are, when to get in the chair, get out or what they even mean by 'are you comfortable'. Last time I felt an intense pressure too 'stop making a fuss' but i didn't know what they wanted. By the end I felt like a bad person who had wasted everyone's time.

There are some other factors too. Simple stuff really like the sensory side (noise, textures, cold and hot things).

Finally, The timing and pacing was really weird. Lots of time traveling, then into a waiting room (which was loud and full of things to look at, posters to read etc etc) then into the little room with the chair. Then everything is so fast.

I wonder if there is an (adult) autie friendly dentist in london.

I think, if they would be willing between me, my partner and my best friend (he also carers for me a lot) we could come up with something which would work. It's what we did for the hairdresser. 

(In brief, Mike takes me in the car, there's a really little hair salon we found. They have a guy who specialises in kids hair and he does the cut but does not use the loud buzzer. 

They know upfront I won't speak and they let me wait in a quiet place and take breaks. mike does all the social stuff I can focus on staying calm and keeping the flaps down. The guy is gentle and after the cut we leave. 

Mike pays on my behalf and then I pay him back via the Internet later)

Now I think about it, I can think of the advice I would give if someone asked me:

1: one visit for them to look, then give lots and lots of time to explain procedure and processes. What's going to happen in detail. Perhaps write it down. Make a visual progress  diagram I could refer too. (Eg I need to know if I am on step 2 of 6 or 4 of 5 etc). 

2: discuss communication issues upfront. Make sure they know before I arrive if I can speak or not and ensure that if I cannot speak they understand how AAC Is used. Eg, they won't read half complete sentences off the screen and reply before I have finished. They won't just explain it to whoever is with me and then move on before I understand. 

3: Avoid wooly language. 'Almost done" is useless. Combined with knowing the process this would massively reduce the anxiety. 

4: a break between travel, time in the small room and then traveling home. Allow for decompression.

I suppose I have answered my own question somewhat. Will point Mike at this post and see if he would be okay to help me arrange such a thing.

This is one of those things where I am lucky that people are willing to help me (Mike is awesome) But at the same time I feel a burden for asking and just keep telling myself if I just tried harder it would be fine.

Hope that makes some sense.

Jamie + Lion