Food and eating what's put in front of you

When I was a child you ate what was put in front of you, if you were lucky there wouldn't be to much that you didn't like or you found ways to get around it, like, I'd eat my brussels sprouts first so as I'd have the rest of the dinner to take the taste away. This was a common experience for my age group growing up, there wasn't much in the way of convienience food, fish finger and sausages, but pretty much everything else had to be cooked from scratch.

Jump forward 20 years and there was loads more convienence foods and people not only didn't cook much, but allowed children to choose what food they'd eat and the parents would get in a terrible flap when the children wouldn't eat. I tried this for a bit with my kids and then got fed up and allowed them to each choose 5 things they really didn't like and I wouldn't serve them, but everything else they had to eat and new things were up for disucssion.

Jump forward another 20 years and I was often told that I was cruel for not allowing my children to eat what they wanted when they wanted and for making them sit at the table. But they really enjoyed sitting at the table, they enjoued real vegetables and real food. After my son came home of rxmas after his first uni term, he was disgusted that there were people older than him who would only eat pizza and breakfast cereal and drink coke.

I know htat for many ND food is difficult, things taste and feel different to us and many of us want a beige diet. But do you feel that you would of been better off if youd' been made to eat what was in front of you or be hungry until you were served something you did like. Hwo do your childhood experiences of food and eating effect you now? DO you eat a wide range of foods or are youn very selective?

Parents
  • Jump forward another 20 years and I was often told that I was cruel for not allowing my children to eat what they wanted when they wanted and for making them sit at the table

    You gave them a chance to feel part of the adult pack and observe the social interactions in action - something that will help them if they are autistic and struggle to understand social dynamics.

    If you have the patience, explaining why some social dynamics are the way they are can add understanding for them and help them take these on board more easily, hence making them better able to survive in society as they grow.

    As for making them eat what you have, it is an important social dynamic that the young get what they are given and they should not expect to be little tyrants just because they want something.

    If they have real issues with the food because of their autism then it seems reasonable to accommodate this is possible but while you do not distress them too much, exposing them to other foods is a valuable lesson for them and can teach them that a wider range of "acceptable" food is available.

    I grew up with a "if you don't eat what you are given then you don't eat" approach - I can eat almost anything now so it was a valuable lesson.

  • As far as I know neither of my children are ND, but they both feel they benefitted from being made to at least try things, but also being respected enough not to be made to eat things they really didn't like. They both eat a wide range of foods and are good cooks.

    I was always amazed and continue to be amazed that so many parents dont' say no to their children, that they pander to every whim and tell me that they wish they could make thier children sit down and eat a proper meal the children won't do it. They look at me like I have a second head when I say that they're the parents and should impose some discpline, not become bullying tyrants, but enforce some rules about things.

Reply
  • As far as I know neither of my children are ND, but they both feel they benefitted from being made to at least try things, but also being respected enough not to be made to eat things they really didn't like. They both eat a wide range of foods and are good cooks.

    I was always amazed and continue to be amazed that so many parents dont' say no to their children, that they pander to every whim and tell me that they wish they could make thier children sit down and eat a proper meal the children won't do it. They look at me like I have a second head when I say that they're the parents and should impose some discpline, not become bullying tyrants, but enforce some rules about things.

Children
  • They look at me like I have a second head when I say that they're the parents and should impose some discpline, not become bullying tyrants, but enforce some rules about things.

    The word discipline seems to be a trigger word for many these days and even the suggestion of it has some going off on a rant about how it is all abuse.

    It is better to talk about boundaries and managing expectations to keep all those virtue signallers happy I find.