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I can’t cope

Megan97

I feel like I’m in crisis right now. I can’t manage and I don’t know what to do. I’m crying all day everyday and having meltdowns. I’m mentally so drained. The noise in my house is unbearable right now and I can’t get away from it. What does someone do in this situation? I use earphones, earplugs, everything they don’t help they just give me headaches and I can’t have them in permanently it’s no way to live. But if I did move into a flat that could be noisy too. I don’t want advice like white noise machines etc I’ve tried all that it doesn’t help me - I actually need a proper long term solution - surely there must be one? All I know is I can’t live like this. I’m starting uni at end of September aswell as a mature student where I will still live at home - how do I focus on all that with all these sensory issues? I’m so so overwhelmed I just don’t know what to do!! I need some support right now desperately. Just someone who knows how I’m feeling. I cannot keep living everyday like this, it’s not possible. Is there any help for quiet housing if you have autism? Depending on where the noise is in the house I have to move rooms - it’s so stressful. Having to move everything from room to room all day. My parents just talk very loud all day and the floors are extremely thin. It’s honestly so overwhelming. It’s just talking, I know that, but it’s constant because the floors are so thin - I can’t get away from it in any area of the house. I can’t believe my life has got like this. 

  • You are overloaded. Can you get away for some time? Sit in the park, or a church or anywhere quiet. Or if you can go away for a day or two.

    You need a break to allow yourself some calm to get some perspective. Then you can think.

    Do you have a library nearby. You may be able to work there.

  • It can be helpful to use a portable desk divider to make each desk / table feel private, like your familiar space and outlook, with things you are studying on it too.  Ikea do one for £9 called ÖVNING (from the reviews you can see they are popular with a school helping SEND students who have been recommended to have individual desks.

    For coping with moving "my mobile desk" between different rooms in the house (noisy neighbour at weekends etc.); I visited a few local charity shops (e.g. we have a local good Salvation Army Shop who stock a good stock of quality used furniture at very reasonable prices) - until I found one with a serviceable tea trolley / drinks trolley / serving trolley.  I trundled a couple around a few charity shops and found "my one" - for not much money.  Check whether you need one with wheels / castors which can cope on carpet too.

    The trolley is loaded with all I want on / to operate "my study desk" - to aid the relocation process.

    For between floors; I have a large, inexpensive, plastic, rectangular laundry basket with grippy handles (I think it was from either Lidl / Aldi, some years ago).  It is lightweight and rigid to aid toting text books etc. between two stories in the house.

    If I want to study at a college library / a fellow students house / attend an evening class - I use a 2-wheeled laptop case / a small 4-wheeled cabin case with an extending handle (these also pop up in stock now and again in charity shops).  The 2-wheeled laptop cases are bus / train-friendly and mean you aren't carrying the weight of laptop and books yourself all the time.

    The 2-wheeled laptop cases can be really quite expensive "new" - I think Amazon Basics sell a popular one at the moment on a sale price for £26.60 (about half the price of other ones I have seen) - "Laptop bag with quick-rolling wheels and easy-access front pocket - fits Laptops up to 15.6 inch (39.6 cm), Black".

    The 4-wheeled cabin suitcases can be found "new" (in lots of different shops) for around £18 to £20.  They are OK on buses / trains (unless you have to sit upstairs in a bus - when they can be a nuisance).

    If the weather is dry; I sometimes sit outdoors to read for an hour or two.  I don't like the trussed-up feeling of a coat when sat reading.  My solution is an acrylic woven / fleece fabric poncho (I have one with a hood which I like to wear when I am concentrating).  I got my warm ponchos new from eBay for (delivered price) between £11 to £18.  I use a folding deckchair which makes it practical to move around to whichever seems the quieter spot outdoors.

    Lastly, in the household kitchen we have a blackboard with simply a grid for the days of the week and a blank column next to each day.  I ask the household to please just write "out" against any day they plan to be away from the house for a couple of hours e.g. weekly grocery shopping / sports activity / social group / visiting a friend or relative / medical appointment / getting their car serviced / going somewhere for a day trip etc. - which then gives me visibility of a timeframe to schedule into my study location planning.  It isn't error-proof, but it does help a bit.

  • I know how you feel and it’s breaking my head to admit this but I need my own house away from my psetber snd kids :( it’s too noisy with 2 kids and their mum plus wirh the stress of work I had a full day of meltodwns yeaterday 

    withh housing ask for reasonable axiom adaption such as soundproofed ceiling and panels on the walls this wil work but it may end up being partly or fully at yoir expense