Over the past few months, I’ve been feeling more and more down. Before I was diagnosed with Autism, I had a really good job. But as I’ve mentioned before, my old manager made things difficult for me because he didn’t think I should be working in that kind of role. The company decided to pay me off instead of fixing the problem. For a few years, I lost confidence in myself and stopped working. Now I do some work again, but I earn much less—less than a quarter of what I used to make. I have about 10 years until I can retire officially, but my current income isn’t enough for day-to-day expenses. Thankfully, I own my house outright and have no loans, so I don’t have those worries. However, I don’t have extra money to buy the tools I need to do my work better. On top of that, I have a PIP assessment coming up for my disability benefits, and that makes me very anxious.
All of this makes me feel really sad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to my wife about it because she worries about whether we’ll be able to take cruises in retirement like her parents do.
Life feels like it's moving through sludge.
