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Depression by Autism

GeekyTim

Over the past few months, I’ve been feeling more and more down. Before I was diagnosed with Autism, I had a really good job. But as I’ve mentioned before, my old manager made things difficult for me because he didn’t think I should be working in that kind of role. The company decided to pay me off instead of fixing the problem. For a few years, I lost confidence in myself and stopped working. Now I do some work again, but I earn much less—less than a quarter of what I used to make. I have about 10 years until I can retire officially, but my current income isn’t enough for day-to-day expenses. Thankfully, I own my house outright and have no loans, so I don’t have those worries. However, I don’t have extra money to buy the tools I need to do my work better. On top of that, I have a PIP assessment coming up for my disability benefits, and that makes me very anxious.

All of this makes me feel really sad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to talk to my wife about it because she worries about whether we’ll be able to take cruises in retirement like her parents do.

Life feels like it's moving through sludge.

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  • GeekyTim said:
    I don’t want to talk to my wife about it

    My thoughts are that is would be best to be honest with her so you can initially manage her expectations and also get both your heads working on the solution.

    Maybe she could get a job too and increase the household income, maybe you could look for a better paying job in your old field or maybe some other solution can be found - or even just to accept it and live within your means.

    I suspect her parents will be the generation to have some of the best retirement options as much has changes for the subsequent generations with later retirement, changes to pension schemes and workplace changes to make work much less secure.

    Given the current government situation with a financial black hole I expect them to change retirement age once again to avoid paying as much as possible so I would not count on this as a long term solution.

    Look at how you could potentially build your own retirement fund (downsize the house or move to a cheaper area for example) and think of taking control back so you can retire when you are ready.

    I retured when I was 54 by using this approach and now work between 3 and 6 months a year doing a job I love as my own  boss (renovatiions) and have time for charity work as well.  

    Food for thought

  • in reply to Iain

    Sounds like you've managed to find a great compromise, Iain.  My wife works, but did not when we had young kids.

    I desperately want to retire. I'm too risk-averse, unfortunately, and worry too much about what I can do. My own worst enemy.

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