Feeling different?

It saddens me how autism is perceived by some, like those who believe it needs to be cured. If people tried to understand it more I’m sure people’s perception of it would improve dramatically. The good news is IF you ever do decide on a diagnosis it’s entirely up to you who you share this with. Only my immediate family know I’m autistic (diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome), I don’t feel comfortable telling absolutely everybody about it as I know they wouldn’t understand.

Have you tried doing any of the online tests? Though it’s not an official diagnosis it might make you feel slightly better about it if you see what the results most likely would be. Thought I would mention this as my sister is autistic and when she was in two minds about the diagnosis she did some of the official online tests and it helped reassure her. She still isn’t officially diagnosed but she’s a lot happier since she did this.

Hi. How you thought before your diagnosis is how I remember I was feeling at the time. I was in my teens when I was diagnosed and I remember having those exact same thoughts, especially wondering if people would think different of me and if anyone would want to be friends. I hadn't had much luck making friends and I remember wondering whether my diagnosis would make it easier or not.

Mac78321 said:

When you found out you were Autistic, did you feel like you're life was going to be different?

Initially, no. The diagnosis came and meant very little to me, I think it explained a great deal to my parents but for me it was just words. You're autistic. I didn't feel different, I didn't look different, and nothing had changed. I was still struggling at school, over thinking things... I think I had been hoping for improvements there, and to be able to make friends, that also had not changed of course. I hoped the anxiety would improve as well.

I still struggle with all of the above but over time have come to accept my autism and understand it better. The diagnosis itself hasn't made much of a difference to my life but knowing I'm autistic has allowed me to be kinder to myself because it explains why I'm the way I am and why I do the things I do.

I don’t have such diagnosis, but suspicion. Not only mine, also my therapist. I’m just myself like I always was, learning about autism helps me understand, how I changed during my life, and why, why I’m always so different, I could never name it. Now I feel scared of both- possibly getting an autism diagnosis, and also not getting it. Being here in this forum means a huge lot to me, even if I’m not very active at least recently. It gives me sense of belonging and I finally found people who I share similar experience with and I feel understood. Also compensates to some extent my lack of friends. The label is not so important to me, my identity etc, but the sense of belonging somewhere- is. So for this reason I would like to have the confirmation of what I’m suspecting. On other hand I fear that having such diagnosis could create me more trouble in life (I’m already done dealing with problems), mainly because of how autism is being perceived by society. I try to guess sometimes, how I would have felt if I ever get the diagnosis, but I can’t imagine it. The first time I read about autism, I was shocked how much these traits describe me. I had such a strong mix of emotions, that I reacted very strong. I needed a high pressure shower to calm down. Then I decided I just had a delusion and closed that topic. One month later to realize that there is quite much to unpack. 

I've not heard of a ICB offering ASD support via the NHS in a very long time, and I fear this is now going to be charity / voluntary provision only in most areas - if at all

When I asked Secondary Care in my area for support relating to ASD they assured me there was provision, but couldn't be more specific.  I seem to recall they then sent me a bunch of A4 photocopies through the door detailing some ASD services that helped only children, or those awaiting a diagnosis.  So there was nothing.  

The important point here (and I've argued long & hard about it, with them) is that their provision for (other) mental health (conditions) for NT persons should not be the same as it is for ND people.  ND people don't take in information in the same manner, and courses etc should be adjusted to take this into account - but this has yet to register. 

I felt a massive sense of relief when I was diagnosed, finally I could put a name to many of the things that seprate me from others. I don't know how you '..would do autism', you either are or aren't, just carry on being you, be authentic, I think people respond much more possitively to those who are authentic, even if they don't always "get" you.

I'm out about being autistic, why should I feel shame or hide it, it's not like people thought I was "normal" whatever that is, to begin with, if people have the audacity to challenge me about something I do, unless I've unwittingly put my foot in it, I tell them I'm autistic and to get over it.

I've struggled with anxiety and depression all my life and I somehow thought that there'd be specific help once I was diagnosed, nope it was worse, the NHS mental clinic that was "helping" me just discharged me as autism isn't a mental health condition. 

Now I'm on another waiting list with my local ASD group.

I've not told many people about my diagnosis other than my wife and son and that took me 3 months to get the nerve to do it.