Recently diagnosed and spiraling

I was diagnosed 2 days ago. At first, I was relieved to have answers about my struggles. Then I was mortified. I feel so much guilt and sorrow looking back on the way I treated people. I always thought I was helping people, but in reality I was rude, and too direct. I held people, and myself to unrealistic expectations. I had no idea that people felt and thought differently than me. I have had so many struggles with relationships, and the only person that tolerated me is my wife. I know I have hurt her. It was all unintentional, and now I have so much shame, and pain thinking how I have hurt everyone I love. I have “masked” for so long that I feel like I don’t know myself. I am really struggling, and I am having a hard time putting everything into perspective.

Parents
  • Hello and welcome to the 'Latelings' club.

    What you describe is common for us 'latelings' to feel grief and anger about the past. It is exactly that, the past. 

    I was diagnosed around 18 months ago. It came as a shock to me. However, it does take time to process everything and begin to know the real you. Give yourself that time but first and foremost is to be kind to yourself. You are not broken just different.

    This forum has been a very good means of support, so ask questions or just read.

  • Thank you Mr T. I am looking forward to understanding myself. I appreciate your advice, and I have always had trouble being kind to myself. I need to work on that now more than ever. 

Reply
  • Thank you Mr T. I am looking forward to understanding myself. I appreciate your advice, and I have always had trouble being kind to myself. I need to work on that now more than ever. 

Children
No Data