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Recently diagnosed and spiraling

MidMoT

I was diagnosed 2 days ago. At first, I was relieved to have answers about my struggles. Then I was mortified. I feel so much guilt and sorrow looking back on the way I treated people. I always thought I was helping people, but in reality I was rude, and too direct. I held people, and myself to unrealistic expectations. I had no idea that people felt and thought differently than me. I have had so many struggles with relationships, and the only person that tolerated me is my wife. I know I have hurt her. It was all unintentional, and now I have so much shame, and pain thinking how I have hurt everyone I love. I have “masked” for so long that I feel like I don’t know myself. I am really struggling, and I am having a hard time putting everything into perspective.

Parents

  • Try looking at things from the perspective that you have not intentionally done things to hurt others, but your actions were affected by the differential brain architecture you have due to being autistic. You are not morally responsible for the way your brain developed before you were born.

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  • Try looking at things from the perspective that you have not intentionally done things to hurt others, but your actions were affected by the differential brain architecture you have due to being autistic. You are not morally responsible for the way your brain developed before you were born.

Children
  • in reply to Martin

    Thank you Martin. I think I am just overwhelmed. I really appreciate your help. That honestly helps with the perspective. I feel like some of the weight has been lifted.