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Danger and risk awareness

Stressed.com

Hello, new here… my 10 year old son has not had a diagnosis but I think he could be Austic. 

He lacks impulse control and seems unphased by danger and risks. as an example, today he climbed on a wall that had a good 15 foot drop the other side. It’s turning me grey! 

I’m looking for any advice or guidance or top tips to use to help him understand the dangers he puts himself in. Even after talking to him and explaining the dangers he just doesn’t seem phased. I just can’t seem to get through and it really worries me. Any help would really be appreciated. 

  • OMG, got a real Deja-vu feeling there. My 30yo (adhd) was like that, and yes I totally understand how stressed you must feel and sympathise.

    Please note, my son did reach adulthood despite the odd injury (& he is why I did 2 first aid courses although I patched up his friends as often as I did him). Kids are pretty good at learning from near misses. Please don’t think I am being flippant (I have been told I can be and I don’t mean to) I was a nervous wreak at times. I found meditation helped me deal with the worry.

    I also learnt to judge when to step in - let the risk of minor injury go, to make the interventions stick when the risk was higher (walking a 3 foot wall = watch & be ready, 15 foot = yep, definitely step in).

    This is NOT advice as it would depend on the child and how much you can stand, but I also took him to places that were organised but let the adrenaline flow, so he would have someone well trained to give instruction (they learn so much better when it doesn’t come from mum/dad). Activities like diggerland, rock climbing, abseiling, zip-line, paragliding, high rope assault course, riding pillion on his grandads motorbike etc. ok, that last one was when he was a bit older.

    We couldn’t manage this every week of course, but the odd taster session was affordable and effective.

    I can’t really offer any further advice as Bunny and EP seem to have covered it (the social books are a brilliant idea), but please message me if you ever want to rant/chat/count grey hairs with me! I’m serious on that last one, I am more white haired than mum.

  • I have an observation if that is OK  .  Your concern is natural and says good things about you as a parent.  When people are successfully climbing on a high wall that is not the time to draw their attention to the risk of falling - thinking of such things can lead to a "self - fulfilling prophecy".   Perhaps, if circumstances permit, enrolling your son in a climbing club where attention to risk management and skill acquisition is balanced with thrill seeking.  This all part of the activity with good role models (including learning from when other people fall...) ?  Who knows - maybe you have a future climbing Olympic gold medalist as a son :-)

  • in reply to Bunny

    Many thanks, I will check this out too Blush

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    You might find the advice here helpful:

    What to do If Your Child With Autism Has No Sense of Danger?

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Thank you so much for responding and giving advice. That’s very kind of you to share this with me. I do appreciate that and will look into social stories a bit further. Apologises for my delayed response… brain fog See no evil

  • Social story explaining that he needs to stay safe, what can happen if he puts himself in danger, examples of safe and unsafe etc. Social stories can be a really helpful tool with autistic kids. If you Google a social story about safety one might come up. It will probably come up with generic symbols. I find them more effective if you have photos relevant to the child in them. I usually also start with my name is.... I really like.... And make it personal so that they buy into it. Then you get to the sometimes I put myself in danger part. Hopefully online examples can help you with the rest but if you need anymore help, let me know.