Over tight shoelaces

I don't, I've never had a pair of trainers of any kind, I don't like the feel of them on my feet, it's like walking on marshmallows and I walk like I'm in space. I can't get my feet into many of them and there's my old nemesis of womens sizes only going up to a size 7 and then it's mens sizes which are totally the wrong shape, to big in the heel and they feel like flip flops. I get most of my shoes from moshulu, although I don't think they have a very big mens range they do do some, but not specialist running shoes.

Now that's an entirely different matter, now you've re-worded it.  I've done this myself, but not with shoelaces, but I think I may have grown up or evolved out of it.   I think I used to deliberately endure things because it gave me a focus away from reality on one hand, and because I owned blame all the time, so I subconsciously thought this pain was a deserved punishment.  I realise these are my reasons, and might set zero bells ringing for you, but I thought it important to mention it. 

Thanks for the replies but after re-reading my question, its not very clear what my problem is.
It happens more when I'm rushing, at least 1 shoe will be too tight and if I'm rushing, I'll put up with the pain until I have time to loosen them. Sometimes, I get to where I can loosen them but then, with the pain slightly less or being distracted by things, I don't loosen them.
Just as TheCatWoman, my feet are wide around the toes and taper almost to a point at the heel and I have a high arch. I wear Keen shoes most of the time. They are the most consistently comfortable I have found but I still over tighten with them.
My biggest problem is with running shoes. Too loose and it constantly feels like they're going to come off so I run weird, trying to grip on to them with my feet (if you can imagine that) Too tight and something digs into the tops of my feet and causes pain. And, because I always run in a group, I put up with the pain so I don't have to slow the group down. And again, when we stop for a chat or whatever, I forget to adjust the laces (I'm clearly an idiot!)

Anyway, I think from the previous replies, and now re-thinking about it, I should probably go to a good running shop and see if there is such a thing as a good pair of adult running shoes that have velcro fastening and see if I can try them out on their treadmill.

If anybody has any suggestions for good running shoes that might help, I'm all ears (as I believe the phrase goes)

colin said:

Anyway, the question: normal or not?

Clearly not normal, but I don't think it is necessarily ASD related, more something habitual. 

I do the same thing. If I notice any slack in the laces I can’t think about anything else. Also, I can’t stand it when my shoes are loose.

My feet don't move very much at all, it's more about the feeling of the shoes on my feet, I'm the same with all of my clothing. I'm always aware of the pressure of my clothing on my skin. I wear my wedding ring on a cotton lace around my neck, I'm always very aware of it.

I also tie my shoes far too tight in comparison to many others. First, I have pretty narrow feet, but I think it’s primarily about a sensory thing for me. I don’t like my feet moving inside of my shoes, rubbing against the fabric with every step and slightly lift from the sole every time. The more pressure, the better. Unfortunately, this leads to me having sore spots on my feet sometimes because my shoes put too much pressure on them.

I hate that feeling too, but there's a very fine line for me between sufficiently tight and too tight. That feeling of the top part of one's shoe causing a bit of friction/indentation over a few hours is pretty intolerable!

For me, it's making them exactly the same, or trying to. So I end up going tighter and tighter but it's because they are not equal. I prefer boots with a zip as you can tie the laces exactly the same but then just slip them on and off with the zip function, I have fake DM's to add context. If I wear my walking trainers... different story, one trainer has a tongue which sits differently, drives me crazy as I can't get them to feel the same or 'right'. 

For me that probablt wouldn't work as I have awkward triangular shaped feet, like flippers, very wide across the ball of my foot and toes and very narrow around the heels and ankles, I also have high arches and instep. I could put on thick socks and the shoes would be painfully tight around my toes, but would be like flip flops around the heels and ankles. I can wrap things like Doc Marten boots right around my ankles and the lacing parts would meet up at the back of my ankles, I can do CATS up as tight as they go and step out of them.

I think you're right about getting your feet properly measured, it can be quite hard to find somewhere that will do it for adults, most of the sizing equipment dosen't go big enough.

several layers of wooly socks should confirm this theory.

If the shoes feel less "loose" with this sort of padding added then it does imply the shoes are the wrong fit and you may need to try other brands or even get some custom made for you (expensive though).

Or try some that have much more adjustment available in more than one place. Look at some options for "diabetic shoes" for suggestions on the sort of things available with velcro straps that can allow adjustment in a range of locations.

A visit to a decent shoe shop with measuring facilities could also be a good idea in case you have a "narrow fit" or similar that will help gude you in search of affordable alternatives.

If your feet are moving about in your shoes my first thought would be that the shoes don't fit properly.

I don't like laces, I found some comfy slip on trainers in Primark.

What do you do if you have slip ons or velcro fastenings?

Sorry. When I said over tight, I meant to the point of injury. I hate the feeling of them being loose as well and for some reason, I can't leave them like that 

I always make sure my laces are tight, I hate the feeling of my foot moving in my shoe.