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Relationships

Peter

Now that I've been diagnosed, I felt like it would explain why I've had so much difficulty meeting people and holding down a relationship and that I could now work on it. But I'm still not meeting people, if anything it's got worse. I don't think I'm the most unattractive, I think my dating profiles are decent but whenever I try engaging with them again, I end up in a doom loop and getting a complex about potential flaws e.g. "being myself" but maybe other people can see the autism in me somehow. It's really getting me down as I've never had a long-term relationship, I'm nearly 30 and it's making me thing very odd bizarre and intrusive thoughts about myself. I just want to meet someone but my friends can only offer "it'll happen one day". Any solutions? Or shared experiences?

Parents

  • I don't know what I can say to make things better or to give hope.  I think the whole dating thing is to a certain extent, built on 'chance, luck, and Russian Roulette'

    Meeting someone doesn't guarantee the relationship will last.  It doesn't guarantee they'll feel the same as you, and as suggested by others - the more you feel the necessity, the more that can verge on almost desperation, and that tendency to compare oneself with others.  

    Prospective partners want different things in people too.  I guess what they want changes over time, and I suppose being in the right place & the right time has a lot to do with meeting the right person. 

    I've never been fully convinced that dating apps are ever that right place.   I've way too many concerns with them, not least the impression I get that many seem to use them for less than genuine purposes and don't give an accurate representation of themselves. 

    I could tell you about someone I know who has just begun a relationship at the age of 82, and some would happily use such facts as a means to point out that its never too late.  It sounds like a cliche though.  I guess my advice would be to see if there's any real-life dating sites in your area, or clubs you could join to enlarge your social circle, perhaps you could meet someone with a shared interest? 


Reply

  • I don't know what I can say to make things better or to give hope.  I think the whole dating thing is to a certain extent, built on 'chance, luck, and Russian Roulette'

    Meeting someone doesn't guarantee the relationship will last.  It doesn't guarantee they'll feel the same as you, and as suggested by others - the more you feel the necessity, the more that can verge on almost desperation, and that tendency to compare oneself with others.  

    Prospective partners want different things in people too.  I guess what they want changes over time, and I suppose being in the right place & the right time has a lot to do with meeting the right person. 

    I've never been fully convinced that dating apps are ever that right place.   I've way too many concerns with them, not least the impression I get that many seem to use them for less than genuine purposes and don't give an accurate representation of themselves. 

    I could tell you about someone I know who has just begun a relationship at the age of 82, and some would happily use such facts as a means to point out that its never too late.  It sounds like a cliche though.  I guess my advice would be to see if there's any real-life dating sites in your area, or clubs you could join to enlarge your social circle, perhaps you could meet someone with a shared interest? 


Children
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