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Relationships

Peter

Now that I've been diagnosed, I felt like it would explain why I've had so much difficulty meeting people and holding down a relationship and that I could now work on it. But I'm still not meeting people, if anything it's got worse. I don't think I'm the most unattractive, I think my dating profiles are decent but whenever I try engaging with them again, I end up in a doom loop and getting a complex about potential flaws e.g. "being myself" but maybe other people can see the autism in me somehow. It's really getting me down as I've never had a long-term relationship, I'm nearly 30 and it's making me thing very odd bizarre and intrusive thoughts about myself. I just want to meet someone but my friends can only offer "it'll happen one day". Any solutions? Or shared experiences?

Parents

  • Don't panic Peter ... Dating Apps are notorious for making people feel like this, Autistic or not. In my view it's CRITICAL to be yourself, and try not to have any expectations (e.g - I need to find a partner in the next 3 months) ... Any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is about how two people get along, and it's not really any more complicated than that 

    And as I heard once ... "Why would you expect everyone else to like you, when you don't even like everyone else" !!

Reply

  • Don't panic Peter ... Dating Apps are notorious for making people feel like this, Autistic or not. In my view it's CRITICAL to be yourself, and try not to have any expectations (e.g - I need to find a partner in the next 3 months) ... Any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is about how two people get along, and it's not really any more complicated than that 

    And as I heard once ... "Why would you expect everyone else to like you, when you don't even like everyone else" !!

Children
  • in reply to Literal_Joe

    I do think I need to have this drilled down into my head more. I definitely don’t try to contort myself into something I’m not anymore! I just haven’t been on a date in years and most of my friends are in committed relationships. Just want to get past the first hurdle Disappointed