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Feeling lonely and dont know what to do

Goblin

Hello to anyone that reads this . I was diagnosed with aspergers back in 2018 but i guess my struggle has been since i was born.

im 25 now and for a while now i’ve found myself struggling to iniatiate and hold friendships , everyday i spend my time indoors not talking to anyone  and find my self spending time scrolling through social media or playing video games to fill my day .

i struggled with my emotions whilst i was in school and college so never had friends from either guess i left a negative impression of myself . 

i think im quite “nerdy “  but have alway’s struggled finding friends in those hobbies , im very much into gaming and have found myself wanting to get into something called warhammer 40k.

spending my days feeling like a ghost in solitary confinement is starting to severly effect my mental health to the point everyday i want to cry and feel like I shouldn’t be here .

my question is , is there anyone who has advice on what i can do to cope with this or ways i can make friends ?

 I know with autism/aspergers it’s a struggle but surely being this alone isn’t normal ? 

Parents

  • I had very similar feelings to you when I was your age (I'm 41 now). I felt completely alone during my time at university and my first few years into my career, not feeling like I belonged anywhere.

    I eventually decided I had to do something about it, which wasn't easy but I kind of forced myself out of that situation. This is what I did, this may not necessarily apply to you 

    First thing I did was give up alcohol, simply because I didn't enjoy drinking it and only did it because all other adults expected me to. For me it was a small step to say who I really was and that I would not back down because of peer pressure.

    Another thing I did was find ways to meet new people. It was very uncomfortable for me and took a lot of willpower, but I slowly learned through exposure that the more I did something the less anxious I became. I chose to volunteer for the Red Cross as a first aider. I saw it as learning an important skill, getting out and about to help at events, and focusing on helping others takes you away from your own worries. I still couldn't say I made any friendships doing that, but I did get to meet people and talk to others.

    You may need to tailor this to your situation and interests, but finding a way to meet people whilst focusing on a shared activity is usually helpful.

Reply

  • I had very similar feelings to you when I was your age (I'm 41 now). I felt completely alone during my time at university and my first few years into my career, not feeling like I belonged anywhere.

    I eventually decided I had to do something about it, which wasn't easy but I kind of forced myself out of that situation. This is what I did, this may not necessarily apply to you 

    First thing I did was give up alcohol, simply because I didn't enjoy drinking it and only did it because all other adults expected me to. For me it was a small step to say who I really was and that I would not back down because of peer pressure.

    Another thing I did was find ways to meet new people. It was very uncomfortable for me and took a lot of willpower, but I slowly learned through exposure that the more I did something the less anxious I became. I chose to volunteer for the Red Cross as a first aider. I saw it as learning an important skill, getting out and about to help at events, and focusing on helping others takes you away from your own worries. I still couldn't say I made any friendships doing that, but I did get to meet people and talk to others.

    You may need to tailor this to your situation and interests, but finding a way to meet people whilst focusing on a shared activity is usually helpful.

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