Published on 12, July, 2020
I don’t know where to begin here but I have just started seeing this guy and I am having some serious reservations about it. We initially started talking a few months back, then we went no contact for a while for reasons I won’t go into here, but we have recently started talking again and now he is wanting to get serious.
Thing is, we haven’t got to know each other that well yet but he is already telling me loves me (it feels way too soon to talk about love for me), that he thinks I am amazing and he will be here for me forever. I am finding it all a bit overwhelming and it is making me quite uncomfortable.
As an autistic person I have difficulty judging these things and I have wondered if it is “just me” or not, especially as I don’t have a lot of experience with dating and relationships for someone in their mid-thirties, but I don’t feel like it is. I also struggle with pretty severe depression and I previously told him I didn’t think I could be in a relationship, but he kept giving me all these reassurances. He has told me repeatedly that he has struggled with being single for seven years and now he doesn’t want to be with anyone but me. Am I right in feeling that these are red flags?
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?
Hi Miss Understood.
Autism or not - if you feel things are moving to fast then they are moving too fast. It doesn't matter what other people would do in the same situation. This is about you. You are right about you!
The important thing is that you feel safe and are safe.
He needs to take your feelings on this into account. You should tell him clearly that you have to take things much more slowly. If he can't accept that and is too impatient, then that is a red flag.
I absolutely agree! And I was in such situations and ended those relationships.