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Sick and tired of being sick and tired

GD
12 days ago

40, diagnosed at 37, dead end job, verbally abusive living situation, no help from the NHS and the government in terms of therapy for my diagnosis. No help from the council in terms of housing, the only thing keeping me going is my faith, For all intensive purposes I gave up on life 20 years ago. And yeah I have had some amazing experiences like travelling to America by myself, my weekly karaoke sessions, which have often been me on my own, and I get sick of going out on my own.

I had my ray ban sunglasses stolen on Thursday, its not about the sunglasses. I am careless, but it knocks you big time. And I was already feeling depressed as hell. I know I am not alone but I feel like I am the only person experiencing this.

People have said lets meet for a drink or message me or whatever, but they havn't the first idea about autism and neurodivergences, let alone mental health. I can't keep doing this. When will it end.

I am on the waiting list for counselling again, but its not targeted. The NHS only offer meds, to numb you so you don't become a problem to them anymore. I only work part time and would love to go on holiday again, for longer, but yeah, 2 days in Bournemouth is probably the most I will have this year. I don't really earn enough to save. Thankfully I don't have to pay rent, I countribute to household expenses when I can.

I don't even find pleasure in the things I enjoyed anymore, rarely. Honestly, so tired. Yet so thankful. I know things could be a lot worse but I don't feel too guilty for feeling like this 

Parents
  • 9 days ago

    Hey GD hope you're feeling better today! Yellow heart

    I'm so sorry to hear about all the struggles your facing rn. Sounds like you been going through a really tough time and not surprisingly its pulling you down! It takes a lot of strength to keep going when everything feels like it's falling apart and I admire your resilience in the face of so many challenges in your life rn. It must be incredibly frustrating to feel like you're not getting the support you need from the NHS, the government or even from those around you. It's important to remember that you are not alone, even though it may feel that way at times.
     
    Your experiences and feelings are valid, and it's okay to be struggling. It's good to hear that your on the waiting list for counseling again, even though it's not now its at least coming and that's something to hold on to. I hope that the counseling will provide you with some relief and support as you navigate through these difficult times. I have a social worker who I talk to and she's really awesome. Just having someone to talk to can make a big difference. 
     
    Remember to be gentle with yourself and take things one step at a time. If you ever need someone to talk to or just to listen, please feel free to reach out. You're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this.
     
    Keep being awesome and hold onto that faith that's been keeping you going and remember that brighter days are ahead of you...
     
    AspBea xx.
  • 8 days ago in reply to AspBea

    Apparently I am not eligible for a social worker. I had someone before but it wasn't the same, and she was useless because the council wouldn't do anything to help me. Other than offer me a needs assessment, And the point of that would be? I can walk, I can talk, I can wipe, I can dress, I can cook, so of course, I am not eligible. Not even for PIP. Because I have applied and been denied that 3 times. I have problems with my spine and still, 0 points on everything. Every time.

    Counselling would depend on work shifts. I don't really have the strength to have another conversation with my manager regarding time, He follows the company. As far as I am concerned, I am dispensable. But I am the yes man, and not even a occupational health assessment was enough to establish my need in that situation.

    None of my friends understand. After 20 years feeling like this (never as bad as now) yeah I am ready for brighter days. If the government are willing to get their finger out and do more to help neurodivergents/mental health patients

  • 8 days ago in reply to GD

    I'm sorry your unable to get pip so far. Keep trying. Your get there eventually.. my older sister got pip because she's got MS and it took seven times before they eventually allowed her to have it, by which point she was wheelchair bound. I'm not sure if your able to but my mum and dad enlisted a professional who helped her fill out the pip form and then she got it, so if you're able to you might be able to do the same. 

    I'm not sure how it works though. 
     
    Defos worth looking in to!
     
    Would your counsellor be able to do specific hours to better help you? I have a therapist and because I'm at school she does specific hours to talk with me, same with my social worker. My mum has a therapist to and hers also adjusted hours to better suit her to as my mums working in a business firm from 7-5.
     
    People should do their best to help you because it really sounds hard for you and you shouldn't be struggling the way you are. I hope people will start helping you. No one chooses to struggle and your deserving of help. 
     
    Keep the faith and if you ever need to chat feel free to ping me.
     
    I know I can't help but just having a friend to chat to can make a world of difference x.
  • 8 days ago in reply to AspBea

    Unfortunately you have to be flexible with counselling. I had help filling my PIP forms before and it didn’t help. It’s a waste of time. I’ll never get it. Even the terminally ill get refused, so I have no chance.

    its a shame I don’t seem to be eligible for anything. I’ve lived in my borough 40 years and still not a priority in terms of housing, the council keep writing me off any time I reach out to them for help

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  • 8 days ago in reply to AspBea

    Unfortunately you have to be flexible with counselling. I had help filling my PIP forms before and it didn’t help. It’s a waste of time. I’ll never get it. Even the terminally ill get refused, so I have no chance.

    its a shame I don’t seem to be eligible for anything. I’ve lived in my borough 40 years and still not a priority in terms of housing, the council keep writing me off any time I reach out to them for help

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