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Soiling issues

ShaunaB

Hi all, my son is 4 years old and over the last 3 week he has completely stopped going to the toilet for a poo. He has been soiling at school and at home and when he does it there is no reaction from him, he won't speak about it (he does have limited speech and understanding off speech too) and is not bothered by it at all. He is currently in a main stream school as I am fighting for a diagnosis for him and  down to this soiling everytime he does it in school I am called to bring him home as they are not allowed to clean him up. He has also been bullied by other children. Although he doesn't understand this bullying it's really getting to me! Has anyone been through anything similar to this with their child and do you have any advice on what I can do with him to try and get him back in to going to the toilet? (P.S he will go for wee's no problems at all) thanks guys! 

Parents

  • I have no problem admitting that I did this, and at that age too.  I have a very clear memory of being at nursery and really needing to go poo but I just did it in my underwear.  I remember the toilets were up some stairs, which were quite dark, and the bathroom was very dark, grey, and clinical.  I was terrified of the loud noises the toilet made.

    I can't say for sure if this is the same situation.  I never talked about it because I didn't think anything was wrong.  When you're young and autistic a lot of things scare you so you get used to it.  You don't tell anyone every little thing you don't like or what you feel uncomfortable with.  I hope I've explained that in a way that makes sense.  I made myself quite ill with this though.  I was always on medication for urine infections and I always had spare underwear kept at school for me.  I'm OK with toilets now, sometimes they make me a bit jumpy if it's one I haven't used before, but I still have problems with going for a shower.  I seem to associate the bathroom with a scary place so I can get very panicky when locked in a room by myself having to do something that doesn't keep my mind off things.  My mind starts wandering and I can have panic attacks.

    Back when I was in school they were allowed to clean me up, but that's because they didn't have al the strict contamination rules they have now, but the teachers used to get very angry with me.  Like, grabbing me and telling me what a stupid filthy child I was.  Because I was very unaware socially I didn't really understand what bullying was.  It wasn't until I was about 9/10 that I understood what it was but really the mental damage was probably already done.   I don't really have very many tips unfortunately, just offer an understanding.  Is there anything familiar or interesting you can have in the bathroom or something he can take into the bathroom with him at school?  But, trying to explain something like that to someone who has very little knowledge of the autistic spectrum isn't easy.  He will grow out of it and I haven't suffered any permanent damage from stopping myself from going to the toilet so just continue to be the lovely understanding person you are and you will be fine  :)  

    Toilets are very scary places by the way.  Maybe I should invent an autism friendly bathroom...

Reply

  • I have no problem admitting that I did this, and at that age too.  I have a very clear memory of being at nursery and really needing to go poo but I just did it in my underwear.  I remember the toilets were up some stairs, which were quite dark, and the bathroom was very dark, grey, and clinical.  I was terrified of the loud noises the toilet made.

    I can't say for sure if this is the same situation.  I never talked about it because I didn't think anything was wrong.  When you're young and autistic a lot of things scare you so you get used to it.  You don't tell anyone every little thing you don't like or what you feel uncomfortable with.  I hope I've explained that in a way that makes sense.  I made myself quite ill with this though.  I was always on medication for urine infections and I always had spare underwear kept at school for me.  I'm OK with toilets now, sometimes they make me a bit jumpy if it's one I haven't used before, but I still have problems with going for a shower.  I seem to associate the bathroom with a scary place so I can get very panicky when locked in a room by myself having to do something that doesn't keep my mind off things.  My mind starts wandering and I can have panic attacks.

    Back when I was in school they were allowed to clean me up, but that's because they didn't have al the strict contamination rules they have now, but the teachers used to get very angry with me.  Like, grabbing me and telling me what a stupid filthy child I was.  Because I was very unaware socially I didn't really understand what bullying was.  It wasn't until I was about 9/10 that I understood what it was but really the mental damage was probably already done.   I don't really have very many tips unfortunately, just offer an understanding.  Is there anything familiar or interesting you can have in the bathroom or something he can take into the bathroom with him at school?  But, trying to explain something like that to someone who has very little knowledge of the autistic spectrum isn't easy.  He will grow out of it and I haven't suffered any permanent damage from stopping myself from going to the toilet so just continue to be the lovely understanding person you are and you will be fine  :)  

    Toilets are very scary places by the way.  Maybe I should invent an autism friendly bathroom...

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