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Want to improve social skills

QuietBloke

Hello

I'm in my forties and think I have at least some Aspergers traits, and would like some advice on dealing with them better. I'm fortunate to be reasonably successful as a computer programmer, but outside work my social life is almost non-existent, and I've never been in a relationship with a woman. I was fairly resigned to this until the death of a parent a couple of years ago, but since then I strongly feel the need to experience life more fully.

I've always had problems making friends, and social situations are confusing for me. I'm worried about doing or saying the wrong thing (and sometimes realise afterwards I have), and as a consequence avoid social situations. I've tried things like travel, language classes and joining a sports club to improve my social skills, which I think has helped a bit, but it's also made me painfully aware of my social oddness. I also worry about the negative impact my behaviour has on those around me. I think on-line dating might be beyond me at present.

I think I might benefit from some kind of professional help. Is my GP the best place to start? I don't necessarily want a formal diagnosis, and I'm a bit concerned that it might jeopardize the security clearance I need for my job. Is private counselling a sensible option? How would I go about finding one in the Bristol area?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    An interesting question is , are you not just an introvert as opposed to having Aspergers Syndrome ? Introvertion is a personality type measured by the myers briggs personality scale. Aspergers is a disability. In the UK in Law, under the mental health act,  Apsergers/autism is a mental disorder. The new DSM in America has removed the Aspergers diagnosis and put it under the autism spectrum diagnosis, and under this new scheme you have to display a certain degree of disability to be diagnosed, a few traits are not sufficient. GP's are reluctant to refer people simply on traits, you need to be having serious mental health issues and disabilities and coping problems in life to go down this route. A diagnosis is a double edged sword because it can be a stigma. An official NHS  diagnosis may be usefull if you want your company to officially make special accommodations to your work environment to help you do your job to compensate for your mental disability, under the disability and equality act in the UK.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    An interesting question is , are you not just an introvert as opposed to having Aspergers Syndrome ? Introvertion is a personality type measured by the myers briggs personality scale. Aspergers is a disability. In the UK in Law, under the mental health act,  Apsergers/autism is a mental disorder. The new DSM in America has removed the Aspergers diagnosis and put it under the autism spectrum diagnosis, and under this new scheme you have to display a certain degree of disability to be diagnosed, a few traits are not sufficient. GP's are reluctant to refer people simply on traits, you need to be having serious mental health issues and disabilities and coping problems in life to go down this route. A diagnosis is a double edged sword because it can be a stigma. An official NHS  diagnosis may be usefull if you want your company to officially make special accommodations to your work environment to help you do your job to compensate for your mental disability, under the disability and equality act in the UK.

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