Where to start. Well this is the first time I've ever used a forum so many thanks in advance for any replies or advice.
In a nutshell my husband has a 10 year old boy who stays with us regularly and is very much a member of the family. From the age of around 5 the school have noticed he was different (I didn't meet him until he was 7.5) and tried to engage SENCO but this wasn't welcomed at the time.
He is now 10 years old and is very different to his peers. He has recently been assesed again and the Wechsler IQ test school arranged gave him an IQ of 75 and a processing percentlie of 1. Yes 1. School are now treating him as though he can barely function, and told us we shouldn't expect him to be able to say, follow and instructin to go upstairs and bring something down as it is beyond his capabilities. It isn't. More importantly they drop this bombshell then just leave us distraught and with no further advice. Some of his characteristics are;
- Doesn't have a single friend in or out of school - and doesn't seem bothered
- Teachers have him on a special reward system at school & keep him in at breaks as he doesn't fit in with the other children, he sees the teachers as his friends
- His grades are that of a Y1/Y2 child, yet on Sunday he was explaining about the consequences of invading Russia on the way to the supermarket!
- Uses the wrong words/context in every sentance
- Asks 10s of times how to do the same thing (make a dilute orange etc)
- Doesn't know when to break eye contact
- Walks round in circles while talking, can't sit still and watch TV/read
- Never gets embarrased
- Shows no empathy for others (school were very concerned about this)
- Displays limited of humour
- Never makes overservations or starts a general conversation.
- Has been insulted several people lately (me included) with rude comments about our apperance but it is not done to hurt, he just doesn't know how to carry on
- Fixates on one thing at a time for a few weeks, usually a computer game, or the army and will only talk about this. Even the school tailor his reward chart to his current obsession
- Only has one tone and pitch of voice
- Is not able to read between the situation for body language and tones of voice e.g (Oh I'm thrilled you made all that mess). He would take that as you were happy
- Says inappropriate things as he doens't know what to do socially. When we were shopping for baby things when I was pregnant, the lady in the shop said something to him about his nice coat or something and he just replied "my dad and x aren't married". People then look to us to guage our reaction.
I could go on and on.
His Dad and I know something must be wrong, even if it is only mild. Does anyone else have an opinion please (I know it is only an opinion based on limited facts).
He sounds like a nightmare, but he isn't. He's a lovely boy who just doesn't know how to carry on in life. Consequently he spends all his time being told off, and gets very little praise because his behaviour is often unacceptable for a child without autism. If we can get to the bottom of it we can help him to develop.
Things took a turn for the worse yesterday as he told a teacher that he would harm himself when he's older as he feels unappreciated and nobody likes him. This knocked us for six. He has never said anything like this before. We think it is because he is slowly starting to realise he is different. Last week he refered to a person that visited us (who has asperger)and said that he liked him, becuase he was like him "he didn't know how to talk to people either".
My other questions are how do we take him to the doctor without upsetting him? Should we try and talk to him about him being different or is this the worst thing we could do? We are at a complete loss as to know what to do. Any advice, even to say he doesn't sound like he's on the spectrum would be greatly appreciated.
