4 year old son diagnosed as autistic yesterday

,hi friend , we have also been told by my sons pedatrition that they think we are looking at apd but still have not said he has, he has to go back in 6 monthes and he has to have blood test to check genetics, but it feels like i still have no answers, my other children know that he is different and needs a lot of help but when they ask why, i dont know what to tell them, but if they said yes, he has then i can say, he has this then start to educate my other children how we can all help each other, this community is great for familys that have not had answers and that others are going throug simuler to what ourselfes great post thankyou :)

It sounds as though we have very similar fears and concerns. Hope we can keep in touch :)

sounds so simular. we went in September and the dr said she wanted to see him again before she made a diagnosis but she said she thought he was on the spectrum. Thursdays appointment was only one hour long but she said she was very confident in her diagnosis. Its pretty obvious really, so many signs. At the moment we have pretty much all we need, he is happy at home, a lot happier in his reception class now he has a one on one support assistant. its just all the things that go through your head, all the questions. Im so defensive of him, I hate to think of any one feeling sorry for him, hes our little boy, funny, clever, beautiful. I just worry about things like relationships, jobs, things in the far future.

found it heartbreaking when the dr said we would be eligable for disabled living allowance,,that winded me! I had never thought of him as being disabled,,that really knocked me for six. I know I sound stupid and shallow, people go through so much worse than this, and nobody knows i feel like this as I am keeping an outward brave face on. finding it tough at times though.

Thanks everyone, loving this site already,,so glad its here.x

Hi Peckie, 

I haven't had a confirmed diagnosis yet for my 3 and a half year old son but at the appointment we had just before Christmas the Paediatrician said that she thought my son was most likely on the Autistic Spectrum. I was kinda half expecting it but it still seems a lot to take in and come to terms with. I love my son to bits and want to do the best by him but it's not easy when you know he is most likely seeing things in a completely different way to what we do and it's not always within our power to decipher. We have good and bad days but still a lot to learn so I am hopeful things will get a bit easier in the future. I hope you are having a better day today 

Hi - me again.  Perhaps it's trying to be upbeat that's making things worse?  You need to let it out.  Is there anyone you can talk to?  Also you need to be open with your family, obviously without upsetting them.  Whilst you may feel guilty, there's nothing you cd have done.  I think most of us have felt responsible at some point, but we're not - nothing we cd have done.  Parents can tear themselves apart thinking of all the "what ifs".  Children do pick up on things, so however much you spin, they may be more aware of how you sometimes feel than you realise.  So, perhaps it's time for a bit of plain speaking to clear things up + move fwd?  I know a lot of what I'm saying sounds practical + emotions aren't practical but the time will come when you'll need to do this because of family dynamics + your own needs.

We knew before..I cant even say it was the shock of it.just not dealing with it very well. most days Im fine.I think it was that so much has built up to that day. Hes fine, hes happy, has a great support worker/ teaching assistant at school now but its just I feel  lost and powerless and also guilty at times. I am working so hard at spinning a positive to everyone, but inside its sometimes hard to convince myself.I will though, I will join support groups, read, get informed.  

Hi - welcome.  Please do not feel powerless.  You've had a shock as it sounds like the diagnosis was unexpected so you need time to adjust.  One way of feeling more in control is to learn about how autism affects your son as an individual.  Doing that will give you and the rest of your family more confidence and will be a great help to your son.  As you say, you received the diagnosis and then off you went.  This is rather similar to what happened to me years ago, so I can understand the feeling of being cast adrift.  Another thing to remember is that he's the same little boy he always was.  He hasn't changed at all - he's been diagnosed.  Loads of info via the home pg + the posts are a great source as well.  Have a look around, take things easy, ask anything you want.

Autism is a different neurological wiring, a difference to being "neurotypical".  I'm presuming that as the diagnosis has come as such a shock he is at the high-functioning end (working on the assumption that if he was at the severe end you would have known what was wrong earlier on and the signs would have been very evident).

If he is higher functioning, there is no major reason why he cannot achieve the same (and in some cases more) than any other child.  Having a diagnosis will mean he has access to support and interventions that will improve his outcome.  He is only four, so there is a lot of time to ensure he gets help with all the areas he needs.

Did you know that Darryl Hannah and Dan Akroyd have HFA/AS?

not my usual way of dealing with things by the way ..just feel like its all spinning out  of control. and excuse the spelling and stuff..typing this on a phone.