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Do I get a choice?

cat34

Hi there

I am a single Mum and wondered if anyone could give me a bit of help and advice.

My son is 6yrs old and his school are pushing for a diagnosis of ASD I am not sure I agree with this and I am not sure I want to put him through the stress all these observations and 'meetings' could cause him. I agree that the behaviour he is desplaying at school is not acceptable and is not so called "normal". They have already involved the Ed Psych but they said once they have recieved the report they will discuss taking it further. When I read through information on ASD I judt do not feel it describes my son at all, yet when I read about ADHD I feel that describes him fully (apart from the hurting animals as he would not do this at all) but when I mentioned it to the school they just cut me down and said no way.

He is not great in the classroom and argues against the teachers and can hit out at those that try to control him but he only displays these behaviours at school or on the very off occasion when he feels threatened by others. He is incredibly intelligant, he was reading at the age of 3 and is very into science and maths and space and the earth. At home yes he can be argumentative but so can every other 6yr old I know. He likes things to be done his way but then he also loves his hugs with anyone and he has friends and can talk to people with no issues at all. He fidgets a lot and finds it very hard to concentrate on anything for long periods of time (apart from reading books of his choice).

I am feeling very confused on what to do. Will it be better to get the diagnosis? What will happen if we do get a diagnosis of ASD, I know it is not the end of the world but what does it actually mean? What will we get from a diagnosis? Will it hinder him in any way in later life?

I have no idea what to do!! Please give me some wisdom on what I should do!

Thanks for your help

Cat

Parents

  • Hi Cat

    This is a difficult one. I believe you do have a choice though.

    Most situations I know of are where parents are trying to get a diagnosis but school say there is no problem, so it's interesting that you have it the other way round.

    My son was not diagnosed until 12 yrs old, no teachers mentioned any suspicions of ASD at primary school, I would sometimes look at the basics of ASD and then shake my head because I couldn't tick all of the boxes with my son so it didn't make sense. However now that he is diagnosed and I know more about ASD, when I look back over time, it was glaringly obvious he had ASD and I really think the teachers should have noticed!

    It is often the case that teachers don't really understand ASD, so maybe they have got it wrong and it's ADHD In your son's case. It is probably worth going down the diagnosis route though, if your son does not meet criteria for ASD then I am sure they would also look at ADHD. In theory, it shouldn't involve too many intrusive appointments for you son. You will only get an ASD diagnosis if your son really does have ASD, it is not that easy to get a diagnosis.

    if your son is diagnosed with ASD then it will help you to understand the way he thinks and why he might act in certain ways etc. and it will also help school to support him effectively. Your son is only 6 at the moment, so it may not seem that ASD (if he has it) is  having too much of an effect on him, but over time things can change, particularly with regards to social interaction, anxiety etc.

    You say your son has friends, does he interact in exactly the same way as other 6 year olds, joining in with pretend play etc. or does he tend to mostly play things he likes and talk about things that he likes? How is his sleeping, does he fall asleep and stay asleep quite normally? I don't know whether he gets homework yet, but if he does, does he seem happy to do it at home? Does he have any sensitivities - e.g. Fussy with food, or fussy about clothes and their textures?

    Are school able to say what specific behaviour they think points towards ASD, rather than ADHD?

Reply

  • Hi Cat

    This is a difficult one. I believe you do have a choice though.

    Most situations I know of are where parents are trying to get a diagnosis but school say there is no problem, so it's interesting that you have it the other way round.

    My son was not diagnosed until 12 yrs old, no teachers mentioned any suspicions of ASD at primary school, I would sometimes look at the basics of ASD and then shake my head because I couldn't tick all of the boxes with my son so it didn't make sense. However now that he is diagnosed and I know more about ASD, when I look back over time, it was glaringly obvious he had ASD and I really think the teachers should have noticed!

    It is often the case that teachers don't really understand ASD, so maybe they have got it wrong and it's ADHD In your son's case. It is probably worth going down the diagnosis route though, if your son does not meet criteria for ASD then I am sure they would also look at ADHD. In theory, it shouldn't involve too many intrusive appointments for you son. You will only get an ASD diagnosis if your son really does have ASD, it is not that easy to get a diagnosis.

    if your son is diagnosed with ASD then it will help you to understand the way he thinks and why he might act in certain ways etc. and it will also help school to support him effectively. Your son is only 6 at the moment, so it may not seem that ASD (if he has it) is  having too much of an effect on him, but over time things can change, particularly with regards to social interaction, anxiety etc.

    You say your son has friends, does he interact in exactly the same way as other 6 year olds, joining in with pretend play etc. or does he tend to mostly play things he likes and talk about things that he likes? How is his sleeping, does he fall asleep and stay asleep quite normally? I don't know whether he gets homework yet, but if he does, does he seem happy to do it at home? Does he have any sensitivities - e.g. Fussy with food, or fussy about clothes and their textures?

    Are school able to say what specific behaviour they think points towards ASD, rather than ADHD?

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