Masking Problems

Hey guys I'm looking for some advice or to possibly relate to someone. 

I was diagnosed Autistic in adulthood. As loads of Autistic people do, I mask a lot, both around strangers and the closest of family. Because of this, some members haven't been very understanding or supportive. I've shared my information and experience on social media but these individuals believe I'm putting on an act or making it up. Claiming that I am lying to the Autistic community and that I'll end up "exposed" and the community I've built will soon find out and come after me.

Now, I have some more "noticeable" signs such as difficulty with socialisation and social understanding, but I tend to mask almost every other trait, and only my partner and immediate household members have had an insight to the "real me" (emphasis on the fact that no one has seen me fully unmasked. I suppose my question is what do I do from here? I thought a diagnosis would help others understand me and allow me to express my hidden difficulties, but it seems that I have to continue hiding them more so now than ever. I also worry in case someone brings these apparent lies to light and then my community and customers will be let down when I've actually done nothing wrong!

Parents
  • Hi,

    The suggestion of my autism only came to light last year after years of difficulties. I was diagnosed as a common and garden depressive about 30 years ago. Apparently this wasn't the case.

    For me something happened around 8 years ago I suffered a burnout and my brain decided independently that I wasn't going to automatically mask. At this point I didn't know what was happening , I thought my depression had just gotten dramatically worse.

    Since the suggestion of my autism and several long discussions with a phycologist I have gained acceptance and a degree of understanding of my condition. 

    Most people wouldn't believe that I am autistic. And I'm not keen on outing myself as I'd rather not have the attention. I don't think many people would believe that I was on the spectrum.

    Many people have a very limited view of autism and the media do not help, whether it's film Rainman or the book/play the dog that barks in the nighttime. We are all different, some are profoundly affected and others pass as "normal"(I apologise for the term) and everything in-between.

    I have discussed my diagnosis with my wife and mother (the phycologist wanted to speak to her for medical history).

    Don't be hard on yourself, life is hard enough without additional pressure. Take care.

Reply
  • Hi,

    The suggestion of my autism only came to light last year after years of difficulties. I was diagnosed as a common and garden depressive about 30 years ago. Apparently this wasn't the case.

    For me something happened around 8 years ago I suffered a burnout and my brain decided independently that I wasn't going to automatically mask. At this point I didn't know what was happening , I thought my depression had just gotten dramatically worse.

    Since the suggestion of my autism and several long discussions with a phycologist I have gained acceptance and a degree of understanding of my condition. 

    Most people wouldn't believe that I am autistic. And I'm not keen on outing myself as I'd rather not have the attention. I don't think many people would believe that I was on the spectrum.

    Many people have a very limited view of autism and the media do not help, whether it's film Rainman or the book/play the dog that barks in the nighttime. We are all different, some are profoundly affected and others pass as "normal"(I apologise for the term) and everything in-between.

    I have discussed my diagnosis with my wife and mother (the phycologist wanted to speak to her for medical history).

    Don't be hard on yourself, life is hard enough without additional pressure. Take care.

Children
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