Sleep & School

Hello, this is my first ever post. I wrote as a reply in another discussion and then realised that maybe I should have posted it as a start.

Our daughter is 15 and struggles to sleep. Melatonin didn't prove effective so she's now on an antihistamine based medication. This is definitely more effective. The problem is, she is absolutely addicted to her mobile phone, but would deny it. She says that she's tried on numerous occasions putting it down and just lies awake, so goes to her phone as a distraction. I should have said that she also has ADHD. Routinely she reports not falling asleep until 1-2am and therefore if she has no commitments she will not get up until lunchtime or early afternoon. 

Our worry is after a long period of not being able to cope at mainstream school or engage in her learning and having online lessons at home at the end of last term, her school have explained that due to all the strategies tried this is really the end of the road. They have been very supportive and tried many different ideas but we all believe that mainstream is just not the right provision for her. 

Sadly, alternative suitable provision is non-existent and our daughter asked to be allowed to return full time. The school were reluctant but she was so angry and upset that we asked that she be allowed to try. She's attended for 3 days successfully which is a huge achievement but in truth we are shocked and on tenterhooks as we're very worried she'll burnout, which she's done before. 

I believe that her anxiety about changing schools (if there was one) means that she is working hard to mask and cope as she is desperate not to change schools or be placed into specialist provision for school refusers. 

Has anyone else experienced this type of sudden (on the surface) improvement? Any guidance would be very much appreciated.

Thank you.

Parents
  • he problem is, she is absolutely addicted to her mobile phone, but would deny it. She says that she's tried on numerous occasions putting it down and just lies awake, so goes to her phone as a distraction.

    I would consider getting a lockbox that you keep the key for and she has to put it in there when she goes to bed (say 11pm) and gets it back when she gets up (say 7am) - times will be based around when you go to bed and get up.

    The reasoning is that it will remove the access to the addictive apps (doom scrolling is widely acknowledged to be built into many social media apps to keep you on them) then it is one less distraction for her.

    There is a second driver and that is she will want to get up early to catch up on what she missed overnight - a real motivator for people of that age with their FOMO.

    She will probably cry victimisation, abuse etc but if you do it for a month and keep an eye on her behaviour then you will get a good indication how much this affects her - a lot I would imagine - and whether her sleep patterns have improved.

    I would also keep an eye open for a sneaky second phone being sourced by her. Teenagers are famous for finding workarounds for restrictions.

Reply
  • he problem is, she is absolutely addicted to her mobile phone, but would deny it. She says that she's tried on numerous occasions putting it down and just lies awake, so goes to her phone as a distraction.

    I would consider getting a lockbox that you keep the key for and she has to put it in there when she goes to bed (say 11pm) and gets it back when she gets up (say 7am) - times will be based around when you go to bed and get up.

    The reasoning is that it will remove the access to the addictive apps (doom scrolling is widely acknowledged to be built into many social media apps to keep you on them) then it is one less distraction for her.

    There is a second driver and that is she will want to get up early to catch up on what she missed overnight - a real motivator for people of that age with their FOMO.

    She will probably cry victimisation, abuse etc but if you do it for a month and keep an eye on her behaviour then you will get a good indication how much this affects her - a lot I would imagine - and whether her sleep patterns have improved.

    I would also keep an eye open for a sneaky second phone being sourced by her. Teenagers are famous for finding workarounds for restrictions.

Children
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