Dating a guy with an autistic son

Hiya,

Firstly, great that you’ve started dating an amazing guy.

Does it matter how disabled the boy is by his autism?

The increase in him visiting his son, and less time available to see you sounds tough. Regardless of the reason, it is difficult when we can not see our significant other as much. Where is he staying when he visits his son for a few days?

It is understandable that his son’s anxiety has increased after moving school. We often struggle with transitions, and add to that the social pressures and sensory input in a new school, I imagine it is a difficult time for the son. 

Its important to be understanding of his son’s needs, and of course he is your guy’s main priority. BUT, you are human and have needs in a relationship, and not being able to see your guy for long periods of time does not feel good. Perhaps you need some clarity, some identification of time set aside that he will spend with you? Are you able to video chat etc on the days when you can not see him to help maintain the closeness?

Hi,

Thank you!

I'm educating myself on autism. I've done my own research, just to understand it better.  I don't want to be ignorant. 

This is a new situation for me. I'm 40 and never been in a relation like this one before. I've dated guys with kids from previous relations before, but not with kids with special needs, that's why I'm researching on the subject. I want to understand autism more.

Yea, it's tough, but I know he cares about me, too. I'm just struggling with how often we see each other at the moment, but I guess it's because I'm used to something different... I like attention and focus on me... but it's a side effect of being the only child , still...sometimes...even at my age;) 

You are right thst some kind of clarity is needed here. I just can't wait for things to get better. Fir everyone. 

Hi,

Thank you!

I'm educating myself on autism. I've done my own research, just to understand it better.  I don't want to be ignorant. 

This is a new situation for me. I'm 40 and never been in a relation like this one before. I've dated guys with kids from previous relations before, but not with kids with special needs, that's why I'm researching on the subject. I want to understand autism more.

Yea, it's tough, but I know he cares about me, too. I'm just struggling with how often we see each other at the moment, but I guess it's because I'm used to something different... I like attention and focus on me... but it's a side effect of being the only child , still...sometimes...even at my age;) 

You are right thst some kind of clarity is needed here. I just can't wait for things to get better. Fir everyone. 

Its really good that you’re educating yourself about autism.

I hope that his sons anxiety improves soon.

Its natural to want your significant other to pay you attention. Hopefully you can spend more time together again soon.

NAS88803 said:

I like attention and focus on me... but it's a side effect of being the only child , still...sometimes...even at my age;) 

There is nothing wrong with that - your caring attitude shows you are worthy of it.

I guess it will just take a little patience.