• Replies 16 replies
  • Subscribers 30 subscribers
  • Views 3165 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Dating a guy with an autistic son

NAS88803

Hi guys,

Hope you can give me some tips/ advice...

I started to date this amazing guy. He is a father to a teenage autistic boy. I think his son is 12. His son lives with his ex and her new family.

I believe he (the boy) started to going to a new school 2 weeks ago. I am not sure how bad his autism is, to be honest. I don't want to ask questions about it so he doesn't feel I am getting too deep into it. Maybe I should?

He used to go to visit his son once per month, but recently he is there every 2 weeks for few days.

His son was okay 2 weeks ago, but last weekend his anxiety increased.

I guess I am looking for some advice/ tips on how to go through this period and if there is anything you as a parent would expect from your love interest in such situations etc?

What would you want your partner to do?

I really want this to work, and I know he does too. 

I am struggling to be honest sometimes with not seeing him for weeks but I do understand his son is his priority, even though he is not with his mum (he - my guy).

Many thanks:)

J.

Parents

  • I’d say listen when he wants to talk..

    Reassure him when he asks..

    Distract him when the moment seems appropriate..

    And be yourself, be honest, and ask him to do the above when you need it.. if it can work it will work..:)

  • in reply to DeSpereaux

    What DeSpereaux said.

    Ask how you can help and be there for him is what he will need - he should appreciate it.

    Once the current situation is over he should see you in a new (positive) light where you gave him the space to do what he had to do and were supportive in ways he needed.

    If you have doubts about what he is up to with his ex then a straightforward question  such as "with you spending so much time with your ex, do I have anything to worry about?" will give a pretty good clue from the response if he is deflecting or nervous versus laughing it off or being serious about there being nothing to worry about.

    He is lucky to have you

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you. 

    By the way, no doubts about him and the ex. 

    Every day I'm reassuring him that he can count on me.

    That's all I can do, right?

    That limited (sometimes) contact is hard, but I know it's only temporary. I know he needs to be there for his son. I wish I could do something more...

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you. 

    By the way, no doubts about him and the ex. 

    Every day I'm reassuring him that he can count on me.

    That's all I can do, right?

    That limited (sometimes) contact is hard, but I know it's only temporary. I know he needs to be there for his son. I wish I could do something more...

Children
No Data