• Replies 20 replies
  • Subscribers 35 subscribers
  • Views 3089 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Day 1 : Feeling both optimistic and terrified

Dogtooth

So,

Im going to be 100% honest here. 

Those that know me know i have addiction issues, and not just a little bit. I am fed up with having the meltdowns like last week. Yesterday was my 14 year anniversary so me and my wife went for dinner and a few drinks. 

She knows about my issues, but knows i am trying, so she supports rather than scolds me. When we got home i found a reason to 'pop' out and bought some cocaine. Not proud, but the truth. 

I have finished it, and have no substances or alcohol in the house. Im at work sitting at my desk with the usual train of thoughts going round my head and i made a decision. 100 days totally sober. 

Ive text my wife and told her and she agrees it will be a good idea and is going to join me. 

So this is it. Hour 1 of day 1. 

Its quite nice in a way to think this could be the last comedown i ever have. 

Wish me luck. 

Dog

Parents

  • Hey Dogtooth, 

    How's it going? 

    I have been on this road ~many times~ that first day or two is so tough. There's a weird part where you feel elated for making the decision but so scared in case you can't stick to it. 

    The simple fact is: the longer you're clean and sober, the easier it gets. The thing that trips a lot of people up is they struggle so much in the early days, they slip and go back to square one, only to do it again. This means they're always doing the 'hardest bit' and never getting to the easier bit. 

    IT WILL GET EASIER. It might be hard to imagine it right now, but it is the fact. 

    Are you into the idea of going to meetings? I don't actually believe in the whole 12 step thing (no offense to anyone reading this who swears by them, I know they help a lot of people) but the idea of going and taking part in something communal, where there is a greater purpose than yourself can really help to take you out of your own head and obsessing about things. Also - it is *something* to do. You say you'll be alone this weekend, maybe going to a few meetings might help fill up your time. 

    One of the hardest things when I went through all this (repeatedly) was suddenly all this free time I had when I'd otherwise usually be using. Filling that time is crucial. Staying busy is key. Idle hands wander. 

    Keep us posted mate!

  • in reply to Autumn_Trees
    Autumn_Trees said:
    the idea of going and taking part in something communal, where there is a greater purpose than yourself can really help to take you out of your own head and obsessing about things

    I think this is very true and a helpful observation.

Reply Children
No Data