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Day 1 : Feeling both optimistic and terrified

Dogtooth

So,

Im going to be 100% honest here. 

Those that know me know i have addiction issues, and not just a little bit. I am fed up with having the meltdowns like last week. Yesterday was my 14 year anniversary so me and my wife went for dinner and a few drinks. 

She knows about my issues, but knows i am trying, so she supports rather than scolds me. When we got home i found a reason to 'pop' out and bought some cocaine. Not proud, but the truth. 

I have finished it, and have no substances or alcohol in the house. Im at work sitting at my desk with the usual train of thoughts going round my head and i made a decision. 100 days totally sober. 

Ive text my wife and told her and she agrees it will be a good idea and is going to join me. 

So this is it. Hour 1 of day 1. 

Its quite nice in a way to think this could be the last comedown i ever have. 

Wish me luck. 

Dog

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  • I do wish you luck DT (probably not the best name to call you right now!)

    I'm now over 1 year sober.  If I can do it, then you can too.  It IS worth the effort mate.  Everyday you wake up, there is a kind of pride and sense of achievement = one more day of conquering myself is under my belt.  It does get easier to remain abstinent.

    Interestingly, nothing is particularly easier, clearer nor simpler for me sober.  My head is still a tumble drier......I still doubt myself A LOT.  I still forget things, I still become upset and dysfunctional.

    However......I am significantly calmer and more predictable to myself.  I am significantly less poor (booze is expensive!). I am able to rationalise my thoughts and behaviours more acutely now too......so all in, in my opinion, stick with the sobriety brother.

    Sending you genuinely positive and supportive vibes.....and my very best wishes.

    Number.

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  • I do wish you luck DT (probably not the best name to call you right now!)

    I'm now over 1 year sober.  If I can do it, then you can too.  It IS worth the effort mate.  Everyday you wake up, there is a kind of pride and sense of achievement = one more day of conquering myself is under my belt.  It does get easier to remain abstinent.

    Interestingly, nothing is particularly easier, clearer nor simpler for me sober.  My head is still a tumble drier......I still doubt myself A LOT.  I still forget things, I still become upset and dysfunctional.

    However......I am significantly calmer and more predictable to myself.  I am significantly less poor (booze is expensive!). I am able to rationalise my thoughts and behaviours more acutely now too......so all in, in my opinion, stick with the sobriety brother.

    Sending you genuinely positive and supportive vibes.....and my very best wishes.

    Number.

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