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Aspergers Girls-Please describe yourselves as 3-4 year olds

ASC Professional

I have been in a quandary for a while. I grew up with an Aspie brother and I now work in special education and specialise in ASC. I am also in the process of completing a Masters in Autism.  Therefore I feel I have a really good sense of Aspergers/ASC and associated symptoms. Every Aspie girl that I have come into contact with at my school has been diagnosed at the age if about 7/8, and I have often been the one to raise concerns with parents who initially thought their daughters were quiet, qurky, intelligent, sensitive worriers. I understand how easy it can be for Aspergers to be masked, particularly in young girls, however I have significant concerns regarding my own 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter.  I keep reading paediatric reports about what girls in my care with diagnosis were like between 2-4 years old, and it is like they are describing my own daughter. I have had concerns for over a year but I am reluctant to persue anything at the moment until I can be absolutely sure that I'm not 'looking' for symptoms based on my job and experiences with my brother. My husband would agree that she is odd in many ways but the things I see as her 'means of communication' he sees as intentional behaviour.  For example if she is interrupted when trying to complete a task (anything from trying to explain something, taking some rubbish to the bin or completing a puzzle) then she has a meltdown. I see this as a reaction to a break in her routine, an overwhelming desire to complete a task and inflexible thinking.  My husband would think more along the lines of it being her wanting her own way, although to be fair he is gradually seeing my point more often. The list of strengths and difficulties are quite long.  Some of her strengths include: Very intellligent, good with numbers and letters, excellent memory (she will pick up a random toy and say who bought it and why e.g. My uncle gave that to me for my birthday, and when we check with him, she is right every time.) Some of her quirks include: Desire to complete tasks, seeks sensory feedback, over expressive facial expressions and tone of voice, literal, wants people to be her friend but may overwhelm them, unaware if personal space, repetitive monologues (for example when she was 2 she repeatedly said "I've got brown eyes, mummy's got brown eyes, daddy's got blue eyes, my sister'a got blue eyes" this monologue would carry on through ever person she knew, including the next door neighbour's cats.  She would then go on to pair people up, for example saying that she was the same as me, and daddy was the same as one of the cats next door etc.) I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

I suppose my big questions are, what did your female relatives/yourself present like at this age? Do you think I am confusing things by being so naturally tuned into symptoms and am I over analysing her? I also wonder if some of these things aren't too far away from age related expectations. By this I mean that I would worry if a 6 year old girl at my school presented like this, and I keep needing to remind myself that she is younger. 

Parents

  • Hi, I'm a 52 year old woman currently seeking diagnosis, so there's a chance I don't have Asperger's syndrome. But I'm pretty sure that I do, so hope this reply is helpful.

    As far as I know, I didn't have a speech delay in fact I had a good vocabulary for my age. My dad remembers me reading newspapers without much help by the age of 4. But I was clumsy, tripping up often and hopeless at catching anything. I had a teddy bear which had been played with to the point of falling apart, with both legs and one arm missing, which I carried around everywhere and slept with at night.  My parents bought me a new one, but I never took to it. I also had an early interest in insects and caterpillars, and spent much time in the garden searching for them.

    I wasn't aware of any social problems at home, but it was very different as soon as I went to infant school, at the age of 4. I was bullied from day one, and had no idea how to deal with it. I can still remember the first day, in the playground surrounded by children running around shouting, being terrified by the apparent chaos, and not knowing whether they were shouting in happiness, sadness or pain, or what for. I spent most of my playtimes with my back against a wall, waiting for it to end. Sometimes I hid in the outside toilets. Once a bully came up to me and said, " get out of the way or I'll kill you", and I thought he meant it literally. It never occurred to me to tell a teacher, or I suppose I could have been reassured.

    In class, my favourite activity was painting, but I used to paint the same image (a house, with a garden and flowers) over and over again. I found it comforting. One day the teacher came up to me and said I couldn't keep doing that because I was wasting paper, and I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to paint, and had a major tantrum. After that, I didn't paint again for months. I was always being told off by the teacher about my handwriting, which was terrible, even for my age. (It's still not very good)

    I rarely attempted to play with other children, and when I did it usually didn't work out well. If I thought the game they were playing was boring or stupid I would just say so. Before long, they wouldn't let me try to join in, so I stopped bothering. I was able to amuse myself by daydreaming, anyway. I never learnt most of their names, I didn't feel the need.

    One of the punishments for bad behaviour at the school was to stand in the corner facing the wall until the teacher said you could move, but I quite enjoyed it. I could stand quietly for ages.

Reply

  • Hi, I'm a 52 year old woman currently seeking diagnosis, so there's a chance I don't have Asperger's syndrome. But I'm pretty sure that I do, so hope this reply is helpful.

    As far as I know, I didn't have a speech delay in fact I had a good vocabulary for my age. My dad remembers me reading newspapers without much help by the age of 4. But I was clumsy, tripping up often and hopeless at catching anything. I had a teddy bear which had been played with to the point of falling apart, with both legs and one arm missing, which I carried around everywhere and slept with at night.  My parents bought me a new one, but I never took to it. I also had an early interest in insects and caterpillars, and spent much time in the garden searching for them.

    I wasn't aware of any social problems at home, but it was very different as soon as I went to infant school, at the age of 4. I was bullied from day one, and had no idea how to deal with it. I can still remember the first day, in the playground surrounded by children running around shouting, being terrified by the apparent chaos, and not knowing whether they were shouting in happiness, sadness or pain, or what for. I spent most of my playtimes with my back against a wall, waiting for it to end. Sometimes I hid in the outside toilets. Once a bully came up to me and said, " get out of the way or I'll kill you", and I thought he meant it literally. It never occurred to me to tell a teacher, or I suppose I could have been reassured.

    In class, my favourite activity was painting, but I used to paint the same image (a house, with a garden and flowers) over and over again. I found it comforting. One day the teacher came up to me and said I couldn't keep doing that because I was wasting paper, and I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to paint, and had a major tantrum. After that, I didn't paint again for months. I was always being told off by the teacher about my handwriting, which was terrible, even for my age. (It's still not very good)

    I rarely attempted to play with other children, and when I did it usually didn't work out well. If I thought the game they were playing was boring or stupid I would just say so. Before long, they wouldn't let me try to join in, so I stopped bothering. I was able to amuse myself by daydreaming, anyway. I never learnt most of their names, I didn't feel the need.

    One of the punishments for bad behaviour at the school was to stand in the corner facing the wall until the teacher said you could move, but I quite enjoyed it. I could stand quietly for ages.

Children
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