Aspergers Girls-Please describe yourselves as 3-4 year olds

I have been in a quandary for a while. I grew up with an Aspie brother and I now work in special education and specialise in ASC. I am also in the process of completing a Masters in Autism.  Therefore I feel I have a really good sense of Aspergers/ASC and associated symptoms. Every Aspie girl that I have come into contact with at my school has been diagnosed at the age if about 7/8, and I have often been the one to raise concerns with parents who initially thought their daughters were quiet, qurky, intelligent, sensitive worriers. I understand how easy it can be for Aspergers to be masked, particularly in young girls, however I have significant concerns regarding my own 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter.  I keep reading paediatric reports about what girls in my care with diagnosis were like between 2-4 years old, and it is like they are describing my own daughter. I have had concerns for over a year but I am reluctant to persue anything at the moment until I can be absolutely sure that I'm not 'looking' for symptoms based on my job and experiences with my brother. My husband would agree that she is odd in many ways but the things I see as her 'means of communication' he sees as intentional behaviour.  For example if she is interrupted when trying to complete a task (anything from trying to explain something, taking some rubbish to the bin or completing a puzzle) then she has a meltdown. I see this as a reaction to a break in her routine, an overwhelming desire to complete a task and inflexible thinking.  My husband would think more along the lines of it being her wanting her own way, although to be fair he is gradually seeing my point more often. The list of strengths and difficulties are quite long.  Some of her strengths include: Very intellligent, good with numbers and letters, excellent memory (she will pick up a random toy and say who bought it and why e.g. My uncle gave that to me for my birthday, and when we check with him, she is right every time.) Some of her quirks include: Desire to complete tasks, seeks sensory feedback, over expressive facial expressions and tone of voice, literal, wants people to be her friend but may overwhelm them, unaware if personal space, repetitive monologues (for example when she was 2 she repeatedly said "I've got brown eyes, mummy's got brown eyes, daddy's got blue eyes, my sister'a got blue eyes" this monologue would carry on through ever person she knew, including the next door neighbour's cats.  She would then go on to pair people up, for example saying that she was the same as me, and daddy was the same as one of the cats next door etc.) I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

I suppose my big questions are, what did your female relatives/yourself present like at this age? Do you think I am confusing things by being so naturally tuned into symptoms and am I over analysing her? I also wonder if some of these things aren't too far away from age related expectations. By this I mean that I would worry if a 6 year old girl at my school presented like this, and I keep needing to remind myself that she is younger. 

Parents
  • I can't believe I put this on here and never looked at replies! Thanks to all of you who did though. It was really interesting to read what I wrote about my daughter and all of your replies have elements of her in. She is 6 now and everything I previously described and so much more! There is no question that she has Aspergers and my husband is in total agreement.  Even her sister (age 8) asks us why she is so different. School have been great so far and my only reason for seeking diagnosis would be if she was struggling at school. They think she is different also, but she is highly intelligent and quite happy. If she ever struggles or becomes upset I will consider seeking diagnosis. As I work in this field I am able to implement strategies to support her at home and my husband has picked them up well also. She is responding really well to this and is generally a very happy child. She behaves really well within her routine. When broken she will howl wildly proclaiming "I'm really stressed!" But we have developed a bank of strategies which reassure her and help her to come out of it reasonably quickly. She has so many talents and such an amazing funny personality, I wouldn't change her for the world. She is currently sat on the carpet reading 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' and discussing the similarities with 'James and the Giant Peach' which suits her better than the books a typically developing 6 year old would read. She is a maths whizz and top of the class. She is also musically talented. I think if we can continue to support her differences and if school continues to support her well then we will leave diagnosis until a later age. Difference is good.  

Reply
  • I can't believe I put this on here and never looked at replies! Thanks to all of you who did though. It was really interesting to read what I wrote about my daughter and all of your replies have elements of her in. She is 6 now and everything I previously described and so much more! There is no question that she has Aspergers and my husband is in total agreement.  Even her sister (age 8) asks us why she is so different. School have been great so far and my only reason for seeking diagnosis would be if she was struggling at school. They think she is different also, but she is highly intelligent and quite happy. If she ever struggles or becomes upset I will consider seeking diagnosis. As I work in this field I am able to implement strategies to support her at home and my husband has picked them up well also. She is responding really well to this and is generally a very happy child. She behaves really well within her routine. When broken she will howl wildly proclaiming "I'm really stressed!" But we have developed a bank of strategies which reassure her and help her to come out of it reasonably quickly. She has so many talents and such an amazing funny personality, I wouldn't change her for the world. She is currently sat on the carpet reading 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' and discussing the similarities with 'James and the Giant Peach' which suits her better than the books a typically developing 6 year old would read. She is a maths whizz and top of the class. She is also musically talented. I think if we can continue to support her differences and if school continues to support her well then we will leave diagnosis until a later age. Difference is good.  

Children
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