Aspergers Girls-Please describe yourselves as 3-4 year olds

I have been in a quandary for a while. I grew up with an Aspie brother and I now work in special education and specialise in ASC. I am also in the process of completing a Masters in Autism.  Therefore I feel I have a really good sense of Aspergers/ASC and associated symptoms. Every Aspie girl that I have come into contact with at my school has been diagnosed at the age if about 7/8, and I have often been the one to raise concerns with parents who initially thought their daughters were quiet, qurky, intelligent, sensitive worriers. I understand how easy it can be for Aspergers to be masked, particularly in young girls, however I have significant concerns regarding my own 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter.  I keep reading paediatric reports about what girls in my care with diagnosis were like between 2-4 years old, and it is like they are describing my own daughter. I have had concerns for over a year but I am reluctant to persue anything at the moment until I can be absolutely sure that I'm not 'looking' for symptoms based on my job and experiences with my brother. My husband would agree that she is odd in many ways but the things I see as her 'means of communication' he sees as intentional behaviour.  For example if she is interrupted when trying to complete a task (anything from trying to explain something, taking some rubbish to the bin or completing a puzzle) then she has a meltdown. I see this as a reaction to a break in her routine, an overwhelming desire to complete a task and inflexible thinking.  My husband would think more along the lines of it being her wanting her own way, although to be fair he is gradually seeing my point more often. The list of strengths and difficulties are quite long.  Some of her strengths include: Very intellligent, good with numbers and letters, excellent memory (she will pick up a random toy and say who bought it and why e.g. My uncle gave that to me for my birthday, and when we check with him, she is right every time.) Some of her quirks include: Desire to complete tasks, seeks sensory feedback, over expressive facial expressions and tone of voice, literal, wants people to be her friend but may overwhelm them, unaware if personal space, repetitive monologues (for example when she was 2 she repeatedly said "I've got brown eyes, mummy's got brown eyes, daddy's got blue eyes, my sister'a got blue eyes" this monologue would carry on through ever person she knew, including the next door neighbour's cats.  She would then go on to pair people up, for example saying that she was the same as me, and daddy was the same as one of the cats next door etc.) I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

I suppose my big questions are, what did your female relatives/yourself present like at this age? Do you think I am confusing things by being so naturally tuned into symptoms and am I over analysing her? I also wonder if some of these things aren't too far away from age related expectations. By this I mean that I would worry if a 6 year old girl at my school presented like this, and I keep needing to remind myself that she is younger. 

Parents
  • My daughter is 11 and was diagnosed in August. I knew for years she had high functioning autism. Nobody listened to me untill I had a son (who is 3) who is at the severe end of the spectrum, I didn't have to fight for his diagnosis.

    As a 3 to 4 year old my daughter would scream if I had my hair down (i useally wear it up). She would scream if I tried to change the CD in the car (I had the same R n B love songs on for years!). She could talk but wouldn't, she had speech therapy because she couldn't sound f's and g's. She collected things and liked putting toys and collections in boxes or bags, taking them out and counting them then putting them all back. She wanted (and had) her hair done 'like Cindy' (from the Grinch film) every day for 18 months ( a big sticking up bun on the top and two low plaits!). Other posts ring a bell with me too, obbsession with food, taking off clothes, fantastic memory and writing me notes are all things she has always done.

    Up untill starting school she was fine with all of this because I could do the things that made her feel better. School has been a nightmare, no learning difficulties, no bad behaviour in school, they did not support me.hence the late diagnosis.She is passive and never let teachers see how unhappy she was at school. She has never made friends and now at high school cannot attend at all, I am only just applying for her statement.

    I think that if you think there is a possibility your daughter is on the spectrum, then she cannot be assessed soon enough.

    My daughter went through hell at primary school with no one understanding her but me, and that didn't help because I wasn't there with her at school.The earlier diagnosis comes the better for the child. No harm done if she isn't autistic. But a world of difference made for the better if she is and is diagnosed early.

Reply
  • My daughter is 11 and was diagnosed in August. I knew for years she had high functioning autism. Nobody listened to me untill I had a son (who is 3) who is at the severe end of the spectrum, I didn't have to fight for his diagnosis.

    As a 3 to 4 year old my daughter would scream if I had my hair down (i useally wear it up). She would scream if I tried to change the CD in the car (I had the same R n B love songs on for years!). She could talk but wouldn't, she had speech therapy because she couldn't sound f's and g's. She collected things and liked putting toys and collections in boxes or bags, taking them out and counting them then putting them all back. She wanted (and had) her hair done 'like Cindy' (from the Grinch film) every day for 18 months ( a big sticking up bun on the top and two low plaits!). Other posts ring a bell with me too, obbsession with food, taking off clothes, fantastic memory and writing me notes are all things she has always done.

    Up untill starting school she was fine with all of this because I could do the things that made her feel better. School has been a nightmare, no learning difficulties, no bad behaviour in school, they did not support me.hence the late diagnosis.She is passive and never let teachers see how unhappy she was at school. She has never made friends and now at high school cannot attend at all, I am only just applying for her statement.

    I think that if you think there is a possibility your daughter is on the spectrum, then she cannot be assessed soon enough.

    My daughter went through hell at primary school with no one understanding her but me, and that didn't help because I wasn't there with her at school.The earlier diagnosis comes the better for the child. No harm done if she isn't autistic. But a world of difference made for the better if she is and is diagnosed early.

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