Aspergers Girls-Please describe yourselves as 3-4 year olds

I have been in a quandary for a while. I grew up with an Aspie brother and I now work in special education and specialise in ASC. I am also in the process of completing a Masters in Autism.  Therefore I feel I have a really good sense of Aspergers/ASC and associated symptoms. Every Aspie girl that I have come into contact with at my school has been diagnosed at the age if about 7/8, and I have often been the one to raise concerns with parents who initially thought their daughters were quiet, qurky, intelligent, sensitive worriers. I understand how easy it can be for Aspergers to be masked, particularly in young girls, however I have significant concerns regarding my own 3 (nearly 4) year old daughter.  I keep reading paediatric reports about what girls in my care with diagnosis were like between 2-4 years old, and it is like they are describing my own daughter. I have had concerns for over a year but I am reluctant to persue anything at the moment until I can be absolutely sure that I'm not 'looking' for symptoms based on my job and experiences with my brother. My husband would agree that she is odd in many ways but the things I see as her 'means of communication' he sees as intentional behaviour.  For example if she is interrupted when trying to complete a task (anything from trying to explain something, taking some rubbish to the bin or completing a puzzle) then she has a meltdown. I see this as a reaction to a break in her routine, an overwhelming desire to complete a task and inflexible thinking.  My husband would think more along the lines of it being her wanting her own way, although to be fair he is gradually seeing my point more often. The list of strengths and difficulties are quite long.  Some of her strengths include: Very intellligent, good with numbers and letters, excellent memory (she will pick up a random toy and say who bought it and why e.g. My uncle gave that to me for my birthday, and when we check with him, she is right every time.) Some of her quirks include: Desire to complete tasks, seeks sensory feedback, over expressive facial expressions and tone of voice, literal, wants people to be her friend but may overwhelm them, unaware if personal space, repetitive monologues (for example when she was 2 she repeatedly said "I've got brown eyes, mummy's got brown eyes, daddy's got blue eyes, my sister'a got blue eyes" this monologue would carry on through ever person she knew, including the next door neighbour's cats.  She would then go on to pair people up, for example saying that she was the same as me, and daddy was the same as one of the cats next door etc.) I could go on but I think you get the picture. 

I suppose my big questions are, what did your female relatives/yourself present like at this age? Do you think I am confusing things by being so naturally tuned into symptoms and am I over analysing her? I also wonder if some of these things aren't too far away from age related expectations. By this I mean that I would worry if a 6 year old girl at my school presented like this, and I keep needing to remind myself that she is younger. 

Parents
  • I asked my Mum! - I am high functioning autism and was diagnosed at 30ish.

    Age 3/4 - I could talk but wouldn't but when I did it was in sentences which were complicated. I remember thinking that talking was pointless unless necessary.

    I could read, write and do basic arithmatic. I could draw perfectly in terms of copying what I could see.

    I never played with toys, siblings or anything - I was happier in my room reading or drawing.

    I ate ok apparently but have my likes and dislikes. For example, I won't eat anything with salt added or near it because I hate the taste of salt. If I think there's salt in it I will not touch it.

    I never slept but it didn't bother me as long as I had my books and pencils etc.

    That sounds really positive - but there were other times -

    If anyone touched me I would scream the place down. My Mum was allowed to touch me and that's all, anyone else was a no-no so trips to dr etc caused meltdown everytime - I actually remember having a medical check before I started school and the nurse telling me I was a very naughty llittle girl. I kicked her in the shins very hard. No regrets.

    My Mum kept telling the 'professionals'  something wasn't right but they said I was attention seeking and badly behaved - how many of us have had that label.

    I didn't cope with over stimulation in terms of noise, light and particularly smells so school wasn't easy for me. And yet I was above average intelligence - I have an IQ of 165.

    No-one picked up at school I had a problem because I learned to stay quiet and did work quite hard but I had no friends or social life and yet it wasn't deemed to be an issue. Despite my Mum's constant haranging of my teachers.

    So I was quite good really, quiet if left to my own devices and little routines but if I wa disrupted then it was mega meltdown and I have a good pair of lungs.

    Still have.

    I haven't actually changed very much.

    Remember - all people are unique and special in some way - I now consider my autism a gift in that it enables me to do things others can only dream of.

Reply
  • I asked my Mum! - I am high functioning autism and was diagnosed at 30ish.

    Age 3/4 - I could talk but wouldn't but when I did it was in sentences which were complicated. I remember thinking that talking was pointless unless necessary.

    I could read, write and do basic arithmatic. I could draw perfectly in terms of copying what I could see.

    I never played with toys, siblings or anything - I was happier in my room reading or drawing.

    I ate ok apparently but have my likes and dislikes. For example, I won't eat anything with salt added or near it because I hate the taste of salt. If I think there's salt in it I will not touch it.

    I never slept but it didn't bother me as long as I had my books and pencils etc.

    That sounds really positive - but there were other times -

    If anyone touched me I would scream the place down. My Mum was allowed to touch me and that's all, anyone else was a no-no so trips to dr etc caused meltdown everytime - I actually remember having a medical check before I started school and the nurse telling me I was a very naughty llittle girl. I kicked her in the shins very hard. No regrets.

    My Mum kept telling the 'professionals'  something wasn't right but they said I was attention seeking and badly behaved - how many of us have had that label.

    I didn't cope with over stimulation in terms of noise, light and particularly smells so school wasn't easy for me. And yet I was above average intelligence - I have an IQ of 165.

    No-one picked up at school I had a problem because I learned to stay quiet and did work quite hard but I had no friends or social life and yet it wasn't deemed to be an issue. Despite my Mum's constant haranging of my teachers.

    So I was quite good really, quiet if left to my own devices and little routines but if I wa disrupted then it was mega meltdown and I have a good pair of lungs.

    Still have.

    I haven't actually changed very much.

    Remember - all people are unique and special in some way - I now consider my autism a gift in that it enables me to do things others can only dream of.

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