Different Behaviour Between School and Home

I would really appreciate some advice please my son now aged 13 has been a quirky complex boy since day one I started going to camhs about 5 years ago when I really thought he was asd/aspergers - extreme anxiety he didn't like change lots of sensory issues no friend really struggled making friends watched the same programme on television a tic cannot sleep meltdowns school refuser etc... I recently after a very long wait had an ADOS assessment where a nurse took boy into room when nurse approached us he was very friendly shook my hand and boys hand made boy feel at ease and I seen a junior physcologist I had to give all information from birth delayed walker 20 months no speech until 3 3/4 very rigid in his thoughts that took 2 hours - I had to go back a month later where I seen same nurse I thought he was quite dour from first meeting not as friendly as he'd been they said this was a difficult one and an extremely complex child and that they didn't have a definitive answer and they promised I would definitely know for sure in 3 weeks - today I asked to speak to him because it was 6 weeks and I'd heard nothing - when he came out again very dour and not friendly he didn't say hello to the boy either so unlike the first meeting where he reeled boy in making him comfy so eye contact would be used - he said to me I spoke to other autism specialist and we don't think he is asd - however we think he has scd social communication disorder - although boy does have some traits of this I said what about all his other traits anxiety sensory .... He said to me not all anxiety is asd related I said I would be appealing he said you can do what you like - I had to walk out I am absolutely in bits cos I actually thought I was gonna get this diagnosis today for asd and I'm almost back at square one - I am mentally worn out my hair falling out given myself ibs from all the stress and I've had to give up work to care for him when at 13 they are normally starting to learn about life and start doing stuff for themselves as my older children have done please help and sorry for long post kind regards 

I would really appreciate some advice please my son now aged 13 has been a quirky complex boy since day one I started going to camhs about 5 years ago when I really thought he was asd/aspergers - extreme anxiety he didn't like change lots of sensory issues no friend really struggled making friends watched the same programme on television a tic cannot sleep meltdowns school refuser etc... I recently after a very long wait had an ADOS assessment where a nurse took boy into room when nurse approached us he was very friendly shook my hand and boys hand made boy feel at ease and I seen a junior physcologist I had to give all information from birth delayed walker 20 months no speech until 3 3/4 very rigid in his thoughts that took 2 hours - I had to go back a month later where I seen same nurse I thought he was quite dour from first meeting not as friendly as he'd been they said this was a difficult one and an extremely complex child and that they didn't have a definitive answer and they promised I would definitely know for sure in 3 weeks - today I asked to speak to him because it was 6 weeks and I'd heard nothing - when he came out again very dour and not friendly he didn't say hello to the boy either so unlike the first meeting where he reeled boy in making him comfy so eye contact would be used - he said to me I spoke to other autism specialist and we don't think he is asd - however we think he has scd social communication disorder - although boy does have some traits of this I said what about all his other traits anxiety sensory .... He said to me not all anxiety is asd related I said I would be appealing he said you can do what you like - I had to walk out I am absolutely in bits cos I actually thought I was gonna get this diagnosis today for asd and I'm almost back at square one - I am mentally worn out my hair falling out given myself ibs from all the stress and I've had to give up work to care for him when at 13 they are normally starting to learn about life and start doing stuff for themselves as my older children have done please help and sorry for long post kind regards