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Can't cope anymore, knowing and sharing that I am autistic or ND didn't help or makes things better

NAS80873

I can't cope anymore, and I really can't see how things could get better

Why do I not deserve an inspiring, positive and fulfilling job and career prospects

I am trapped in an unhealthy place because I suck at interviews and have lost all my confidence

I am also trapped because of the shitty organisation I work for

No good company has ever hired me

I am not a pleasant person; I think I deserve better and my communication style is ***

My workplace is causing me anxiety and stress

They are probably just running through the motions, hoping I will resign

I suck at networking and all the things one is supposed to do to get ahead in life

I have become bitter

I cried uncontrollably and imagined stabbing myself with a knife in the belly, or did I imagine stabbing somebody else... who knows.... I won't do either

Are other people being briefed about how difficult and negative I am and is this why I can't get a job somewhere else

I have been moved to a job that I don't want to do and it's not healthy for me, and they know because I told them about my autism and how this role isn't a good fit

Somebody from HR reached out about a similar job to what I was in before but alone the thought of having to work with these managers is causing me anxiety and stress. I don't want to go there anyhow

It's complicated and depressing and so hopeless

I have a boyfriend sine a few months who says he thinks I am great and that he's with me and he supports me, but it's sadly not helping

I am apparently very intelligent, but nobody seems to care, I am just as a person unattractive, and they probably think I can't do the job

I hate my life

And my anxiety is getting worse and I don't know how to cope anymore

Parents

  • What you describe above.....been there, done that.

    Not happy times, and as you say "It's complicated and depressing and so hopeless."

    I slowly dragged myself up out of that pit of despair and misery only after hitting rock bottom - and staying there for too long.

    I think everyone's path out of it is different, but I think that I started to make progress when I began to actually laugh at myself !!

    Rather than repeating the type of things you have written above to myself over-and-over, I started to find the overwhelming helplessness of my situation quite funny !!  At the time, I wasn't finding anything funny or fun - so it was a bit of a breakthrough for me.  What followed, was really boring and trite incremental improvements to my situation - I started walking more, eating more sensibly, getting a good nights sleep, researching solutions for myself, not caring whether my values met expectations of others etc.

    It can be a long road to recovery, but please do not loose hope.  Don't talk yourself down - you are intelligent, you do have a job, you do have a boyfriend, somebody in HR reached out for you, Debbie reached out for you, I'm reaching out for you.

    Stay strong, and carry on........tough it out......it will get brighter !

    Best wishes.

Reply

  • What you describe above.....been there, done that.

    Not happy times, and as you say "It's complicated and depressing and so hopeless."

    I slowly dragged myself up out of that pit of despair and misery only after hitting rock bottom - and staying there for too long.

    I think everyone's path out of it is different, but I think that I started to make progress when I began to actually laugh at myself !!

    Rather than repeating the type of things you have written above to myself over-and-over, I started to find the overwhelming helplessness of my situation quite funny !!  At the time, I wasn't finding anything funny or fun - so it was a bit of a breakthrough for me.  What followed, was really boring and trite incremental improvements to my situation - I started walking more, eating more sensibly, getting a good nights sleep, researching solutions for myself, not caring whether my values met expectations of others etc.

    It can be a long road to recovery, but please do not loose hope.  Don't talk yourself down - you are intelligent, you do have a job, you do have a boyfriend, somebody in HR reached out for you, Debbie reached out for you, I'm reaching out for you.

    Stay strong, and carry on........tough it out......it will get brighter !

    Best wishes.

Children
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