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Constantly Masking

Mrs Claus

I'm finding the older I get the more I mask and I'm not sure why. Maybe just pressures from family and society? But I know I'm doing it but I'm struggling to stop and keep in control it's like a continuous battle and I'm finding it both irritating and extremely draining. I'm exhausted all the time and it's started to show like dark circles under my eyes and my eyes sting a lot. I'm trying not to mask but at the same time I don't know how to function round others without it.

Hoping some of you might have some good tips for me Slight smile

Parents

  • Or pressures from yourself? Try to be more assertive with yourself. Say "no" to things. It's difficult though! Especially if you are a people pleaser. I often wonder why I end up doing things I wouldn't want to do but other people wouldn't do it. Sometimes I say to myself "what would others do in this situation?"  Try to adapt your environment as best you can. Set time limits on social events. If you can't get out of masking,  build in time afterwards to recuperate. I'm starting to chip away at the mask but it's hard. I'm more aware of it now but a lot is still subconscious. At work someone struck up a conversation but I didn't have the bandwidth to keep it up so didnt. (In the past, i would've). I felt a bit awkward but now think "oh well it's not the end of the world".  I've also found if I choose myself what to attend, I feel less demand and more likely to enjoy it. I find I'm more accepting of myself now for the first time in my life. Once you realise that you're ok as you are, this helps chip away at it too because you feel less need to be different (neurotypical).

    I know if I continued as I did I would end up in the place I've found myself in for the past X number of years. I've realised it's exhausting and not that pleasant. So I'd say start to chip away at the conscious masking but it won't happen overnight.

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  • Or pressures from yourself? Try to be more assertive with yourself. Say "no" to things. It's difficult though! Especially if you are a people pleaser. I often wonder why I end up doing things I wouldn't want to do but other people wouldn't do it. Sometimes I say to myself "what would others do in this situation?"  Try to adapt your environment as best you can. Set time limits on social events. If you can't get out of masking,  build in time afterwards to recuperate. I'm starting to chip away at the mask but it's hard. I'm more aware of it now but a lot is still subconscious. At work someone struck up a conversation but I didn't have the bandwidth to keep it up so didnt. (In the past, i would've). I felt a bit awkward but now think "oh well it's not the end of the world".  I've also found if I choose myself what to attend, I feel less demand and more likely to enjoy it. I find I'm more accepting of myself now for the first time in my life. Once you realise that you're ok as you are, this helps chip away at it too because you feel less need to be different (neurotypical).

    I know if I continued as I did I would end up in the place I've found myself in for the past X number of years. I've realised it's exhausting and not that pleasant. So I'd say start to chip away at the conscious masking but it won't happen overnight.

Children
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