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Any thoughts on supporting a daughter transition to life after school?

NAS81928

Hi All,

My daughter is autistic (is it mild? High functioning?). She’s just finished school and got grades that would allow her to go to university. The idea of change was too much for her last year to discuss/talk about whilst still doing A levels. Now she’s out the other side, she’s got to do things like: get some work experience; get her driving license; get her ucas form done (if she wants to go to university - she doesn’t like talking about it). 
Has anyone got advice on how to talk to her about her future? It’s a challenging time with her wanting to avoid anything but watching Netflix all day! 

  • Hello ,

    It may be useful to contact our Transition Support service, who offer advice, support and information to young autistic people aged 14 years plus and their parents or carers on the transition to adulthood. 

     If you would like to contact the Transition Support service, you can reach them by completing the online enquiry form here: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/transition-support-service 

    All the best,

    ChloeMod

  • University is a huge cost these days. In my opinion no one should go to university just because it's the done thing. However university is really essential in getting a foot in the door with certain careers. So if your daughter has a career or certain type of career in mind then a university degree that facilitates that is a good idea. The same is true if she's hugely passionate about a particular subject like biology or computing etc. University will give her a chance to go into a depth that's hard to achieve as a hobbyist. This might lead to a career later in life, maybe even in research. This is particularly true of technical / science subjects which unlike art, writing etc are difficult to pursue with out expensive equipment.

    Life outside the school bubble probably seems quite scary to her and it's a bad idea to pretend it doesn't bring difficulties but it's important to emphasise the opportunities as well. Unfortunately schools are wonderful systems for quenching children's passions but it's only going to be through her passions you're going to be able to motivate her to take a proactive approach to life.

    Driving is a good example. Driving is scary, but driving means being able to visit friends when you like, go to the movies when you want to, go shopping when it suits you. Of course to motivate her with this she needs friends to visit and money to spend on entertainment. Tbh there probably isn't a better motivator for a teenage girl (autistic or otherwise) than friends and boys and if she doesn't have either in her life right now maybe that's the 1st issue to address.

    Start by talking about what she'd like her social life to look like and work backwards from that through work and education.

  • Firstly, it’s Autism. We don’t say it’s mild, because that’s playing down things. If she didn’t struggle with certain aspects of her life, she wouldn’t have been diagnosed. 
    So….does your daughter want to the things you mentioned? You said she’s got to do them? Who said she has to?

    You will need to talk to her about her plans if she has any. She might find it easier if you write to her? A simple open text, or email perhaps. She probably doesn’t want to talk about because it’s too much. She’s just finished her A levels, and I imagine that was very tough for her. 
    Avoiding is her keeping her stress levels down. The less stimuli the better. She’s obviously struggling right now.