Having an Autistic Partner…

Ask your questions, we'll try to answer...I'm an autistic woman whose been in relationships with both ND and NT guys.

Number one golden rule for me would be: be explicit. We love and deeply as much as anyone else and contrary to popular opinion empathise profoundly. But if you don't say it very clearly we might not know what you feel/ want/ need.

When you are sad, say so. When you need a thing, ask etc. You'll find many of us will bend over backward to meet your need, but we might not know you have it unless you say so.

Rule number 2: even the socially reasonably confident, like me, will get pretty tired from lots of social interaction. It takes a lot out of us to do the social graces. If he needs to dip out sometimes, don't take it amiss. He hasn't gone off you, he just needs to recharge away from people pressure.

It's lovely to hear NTs wanting to know more about our way of seeing the world btw. We spend a life time learning NT ways and trying to accomodate. It's nice to be met half way. It makes life for all of us less bumpy.

Ask your questions, we'll try to answer...I'm an autistic woman whose been in relationships with both ND and NT guys.

Number one golden rule for me would be: be explicit. We love and deeply as much as anyone else and contrary to popular opinion empathise profoundly. But if you don't say it very clearly we might not know what you feel/ want/ need.

When you are sad, say so. When you need a thing, ask etc. You'll find many of us will bend over backward to meet your need, but we might not know you have it unless you say so.

Rule number 2: even the socially reasonably confident, like me, will get pretty tired from lots of social interaction. It takes a lot out of us to do the social graces. If he needs to dip out sometimes, don't take it amiss. He hasn't gone off you, he just needs to recharge away from people pressure.

It's lovely to hear NTs wanting to know more about our way of seeing the world btw. We spend a life time learning NT ways and trying to accomodate. It's nice to be met half way. It makes life for all of us less bumpy.

Hi Dawn, I am an SEND tutor specialising in Autism and PDA. I try very hard to put myself in others shoes. Great advice, I will try and be even more explicit and clear.

Oh yes I forgot about needing to be told, especially where other people’s feelings are involved. If you’re not crying I am not going to notice that you’re feeling down unless you talk to me about it