Pros/Cons of Diagnosis

Don't forget that you can get a diagnosis then only tell people that matter. My son (age 6) has recently been diagnosed and only a small handful of people who need to know, know. You can always get a diagnosis and then decide who to tell. I am not aware that you need to make potential employers aware of diagnosis; or does anyone else know any different?

Hope has reminded me of that aspect. I was diagnosed at 55 so had followed a career path without having a diagnosis.

I always have had great difficulty fitting in at work. The issues are trivial to me, and never seemed to amount to more than that when they came to a head: they were invariably down to colleagues making a bigger issue than justifiable out of the quirks of behaviour that arose because of poor eye contact and difficulty following social dialogue.

One accusation I had in my lecturing years was "not being Collegiate enough" which meant I didn't respond to things in a social setting in the way expected, especially hierarchical situations, where there was "a pecking order", or with cliques. It being hard enough to engage in any social interchange, I tended to have a "one size fits all" approach which some people who felt they were due more deferment took exception to. Yet if I tried to anticipate and do it right I was seen to be making a mockery of it.

Another accusation was not coming over as sufficiently academic, which mostly meant I didn't put on the airs and graces of some supercilious self-conceited colleagues.

I struggled for years with trying to get it right. It meant trying to follow a narrow path to avoid disapproval, and if something went wrong with that it took ages to get settled again.

This also affected job interviews and internal appraisals. I found it harder to approach things in the way NTs expect. And if you have trouble with eye contact as I do, it really shows in job interviews.

The main consequence was that, because I wasn't proficient at being NT, it meant I missed out on gradings and promotions. Even though I was good at what I did, merit is mostly how you fit in in most workplaces.

So that ought to be considered an issue for diagnosis. Even without a diagnosis I went through my working life with "there's obviously something wrong with him" hanging over me. Not fun.

Thank you very much for that Hope,  I understand your pour point about being labelled with something even if it is not Aspergers.

We are strongly thinking of the assessment but also possibly home schooling my son to take away a bit of pressure as he does suffer with anxiety alot at school.

Thank you again.

Puffin

My parents put off getting me assessed for precisely the same reasons - fear over damaged job prospects. Yet  with or without a diagnosis, my disability would have adversely affected my ability to work; but at at least if I had got diagnosed as a child, my prospects might have been better as an adult. All I can say with certainty is that diagnosing the problems does not make your prospects worse, it makes them better,  because you are labeled no matter what, often as 'lazy', 'rude', 'stubborn' etc. Having a formal label, like Aspergers, allows you to access vital support.

I strongly recommend that you go through with the assessment - you will have nothing to lose either way, and potentially a lot to gain.

Hi There,

I have read all your and other peoples comments with interest as i am in the exact same position with my six year old son.  Suspected of ASC for a year now, first raised my his P1 class teacher.  We have had meetings regularly anduntil literally yeserday i have always been told his needs are being met by the school both emotionally and educationally.  I hae read everything ging to undersand andhelp my son as much as i can, but yestrday like a bolt of lightning they hae startedto push a formal diagnosis?  i have no idea why?!  My concerns are exactly the same as yours his future work / relationships i am making a huge decision for him!  I have been told apart from the army and police force all jobs are equally acheivable, but we all know what peoples ignorance can be like and i fear his future job prospects ( and self asteem)could be harmed? 

I know what type of a parent i want to be too, well done you ASC professional.  I have been told nothing happens over the school holidays even ifi do decide to go with an  assessment so i am giving myself that time to decide.   also livein such a remote area of Scotland i really wonder how much more help would really be available?

Thanks everybody. I really appreciate your comments.  I suppose the thing that's worrying me is my brother's reaction to his Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis.  He still won't admit it after 26 years after diagnosis.  He fights to be 'normal' every day. It's heartbreaking to watch and I'd hate my daughter to feel like that. Also, my brother always said that he'd never forgive himself if any of my children turned out like him and that it would all be his fault. (It's not hard to see how low his self esteem is!) That's going to be a challenging conversation when he eventually realises that she is very much like him. 

I have met so many parents of children with an ASC diagnos and seen various approaches.  Some parents teach their children that they have this condition that means that they can't do things. These children often say "I can't do that because I'm autistic," without even trying. Then there are the parents who make their children believe that they are special and that they can strive to achieve, particularly in their specialist area. 

I know which type of parent I'm going to be. 

jo and jack -

I agree, everyone has some label or another - society seems to like them.

I see diagnosis as a very positive thing, not only for the reasons that 'jo and jack' gives, but in terms of the empowerment understanding yourself gives. 

your brother and daughter getting a diagnosis will keep you in a job long-term and the NAS in business...  how's that for an aspie reply

Labels, labels, labels.

If you get a diagnosis, your labeled.

If you don't get a daignosis, your labeled.

So it depends what you want to be labeled with?

My personal view, a daignosis is not a label, but a gateway to services and support for that person with good and bad experiences.

Me - not diagnosed until in my 50's.  Struggled for years trying to cope with the NT world and trying to get on with people whose behaviour I just couldn't understand.  If I'd known from the beginning why I was different I would at least have had the chance to deal in the correct way with the problems I encountered. As it was I have spent most of my life trying to figure it all out.

I do my best to be positive and look ahead, dealing with my AS and Dyspraxia now  -  but I also realise that my life would have been very different had there been diagnosis when I was a child.  I assume a diagnosis would have enabled me to not be forced to do things I clearly couldn't do, and encouraged to do things I was good at  - it would also have allowed me to understand why I was not like my peers, instead of thinking I was completely stupid all the time.

The other thing is the bullying - much as longman describes - the effects are long lasting and devastating.  If recognising AS leads to a child being protected somehow from bullying - then I would have given anything to been able to take advantage of that. 

On the subject of a child having a label - I had several - 'Troublemaker', 'Stupid', 'Useless' were the mild ones and many were much, much worse.  Better that I'd had the correct 'label', than those. 

ASC - are you thinking that your daughter, in adulthood, would have to inform people of her AS?  Wouldn't that depend on the circumstances, how well she coped and how she felt at the time. It's a long way off from three and a half years old, and getting her through childhood in the best way possible is surely the priority now.  I can only speak from my own experience of course, but the negative things that happened to me because of AS, during my childhood, affected me everyday until I was given my official diagnosis this year  -  such a relief, it explained everything.  

This depends on the perceived risks of not getting a diagnosis, which are different for each person. Also, even if the person does not have significant issues or mental health problems at the moment, these could develop as an adult, and a diagnosis might provide some protection.

I wish that I was diagnosed as a child. As soon as I started primary school, the teachers noticed my observable difficulties: problems interacting with the other kids, marked discrepancies in academic skills, and emotional immaturity. My year one teacher called me an 'enigma' at a parent evening, and told my mum to meet other mothers to encourage social skills!. My mum was very upset by this as it implied that she was not a good mother.

My problems only got worse as I grew up, and I developed OCD and chronic anxiety from the age of 8 onwards - there were warning signs before this.

I was not diagnosed until I was 21, and only because, by this point, I was not leaving the house.

if the surrounding environment(life style) is favourable to negate the specialist condition of aspergers and the socialisation is within the needs of the spectrum, no one would see the aspergers condition,,, so in a way,, aspergers does not exist until there is a problem with the apsie coping. As I found out.. at school and at work due to social stress, not the work.

I think getting the diagnosis allows you too focus more and acknowledge your own needs. If you have a supportive environment already, a diagnosis may just be a complimentary addition, and maybe just a formality for the record.

Getting a diagnosis for me, explained why I was runt but at the same time a high performing specialist.

I was diagnosed late in life as an adult. It does worry me whether I would have managed the career I've had (albeit with great struggle" if I had been diagnosed when young. That's not because the consequences of diagnosis in those days was devastating. I'm looking at it hypothetically, as if what applies now applied then.

I understand that intervention is supposed to avoid the pressures on people on the spectrum during childhood and teens, and while at school, I've said on other threads I don't think there's much preparation for coping in later life. It seems to me to be all about forcing conformity with being NT, regardless of whether that's feasible, rather than addressing ways the people can manage effectively, by other application of their resources.

There still seems to be a lot of "quackery" around, magical cures to tempt parents at great cost, when the perpetrators will be long gone by the time the child becomes an adult and discovers the mumbo jumbo doesn't work.

The medical profession and social services can dismiss our diagnoses if we dress OK, appear to have eye contact, and can string a sentence together. No-one in these institutions seems to have the foggiest notion about the realities we have to face.

I suffered terribly in the long term from the demoralising and undermining effects of bullying at school. It happened largely because I could easily be induced to have a meltdown for the entertainment of my peers. My understanding of intervention in childhood is that it is supposed to prevent such damage. Does it? Has bullying been prevented where people on the spectrum are in mainstream schools? The anti-bullying charities, which I wrote to several years ago, didn't know about autism as a factor in bullying. I doubt if this has changed much.

What I do know is the job situation hasn't changed much. I've watched some people on the spectrum thrive at university, only to find they cannot get a job afterwards. And all the benefits of going to university, with heightened self esteem, are lost.

Equally I've seen a lot of people in the spectrum wrongly advised to go into university, who suffer worse as a result. A common illusion is that people with an aptitude for maths or computing should go on a degree course in these subjects. But narrow interest in computer games or number patterns often isn't enough to complete a degree that requires demonstratred proficiency across a range of mathematical or computing skills these people cannot hope to address. Yet the illusion continues.

Frankly I cannot see much sign of progress anywhere in realistic HELPFUL treatment of people on the spectrum.

All I can offer is hope. That somehow soon some sensible strategy will evolve.

In the meantime I fully appreciate diagnose or not diagnose - its a lottery.