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I feel trapped in my own mind

NAS79722

I cant stop my mind from going off on internal dialogs about people, who when i feel balanced and centered i feel indifferent and even happy and loving towards. I am being stretched really thin mentally and physically right now, its a whole long story about my living situation I'm about to be free from, but yeah anyways, i have been trying to just let them pass and focus on activity's and work a lot, i find myself having this stuff happen still and it starts to overwhelm me and i go into these like frustrated rage fits, i try breathing exercises, looking at open spaces, trying to counter balance the thoughts with nice thoughts which is really hard sometimes, i will just be so focused on whatever happened that makes the person come to mind, like i really just want to be sweet and kind and especially in my mind, i don't like wasting my time thinking thoughts like this.

Parents

  • It sounds like you are dealing with Unresolved Issues. The Autists Worst Nightmare. 

    I genuinely believe we are analytical by nature. And can be excellent problem solvers. But open ended complicated situations involving matters of the heart or matters of investment, issues where roles and responsibilities are too fluid and where ground rules are broken, these are some of the most Anxiety-Inducing. 

    If you can, I’d remove yourself from the situation and start writing everything down. Do not avoid thinking about it. Engage your mind and get it all out on paper/in a document. Begin to unravel the exchanges and look up online what is happening. 

    Similar to the feeling that 2+2 really is 4, you will feel much more at ease once you can identify or name what is happening. Critical thinking is about engaging with a width of problems and outcomes and being able to examine them regardless of how unpleasant they are. 

    First, we need a safe space to do this where there aren’t unreasonable demands. In a complicated situation with another adult, they should be able to afford you as much space as you need to Think. With a child I’m responsible for this is different. But warning that many adults demand more of others than they’re willing to give themselves. It’s much better for everyone if we have sufficient uninterrupted time to process and this could mean a few days to a few years to releasing the relationship from any future ownership/dues/responsibilities. 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    I, also, have to deal with so many open-ended outcomes; such as the Probate in the South of Ireland, for my brother and I to release a joint account my nan and mum had in Monaghan. But, we're approaching the end of that; the final clearing of my gran's financial wreckage.

    Whenever I'm with my Artist Friend in Belfast, and I feel like heading back to the Bus Station, he's like, "What's your hurry?" My 'hurry' is to make sure we get on a bus back, so I may be home for Zoom events I attend in the evening time. (they're US-based) People in Ireland, especially, have no concept of boundaries.

    So, yes, I have severe anxiety.

Reply
  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    I, also, have to deal with so many open-ended outcomes; such as the Probate in the South of Ireland, for my brother and I to release a joint account my nan and mum had in Monaghan. But, we're approaching the end of that; the final clearing of my gran's financial wreckage.

    Whenever I'm with my Artist Friend in Belfast, and I feel like heading back to the Bus Station, he's like, "What's your hurry?" My 'hurry' is to make sure we get on a bus back, so I may be home for Zoom events I attend in the evening time. (they're US-based) People in Ireland, especially, have no concept of boundaries.

    So, yes, I have severe anxiety.

Children
  • in reply to Desmond79

    I think this might be a good resource for boundaries: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1uTVDDmUls

  • in reply to Desmond79

    I get very stressed about being late for anything - and because of this I’m always at appointments etc far too early. Then I get stressed because I’m having to wait around! Joy
    Getting a car helped with not worrying about missing buses and trains - but it does bring with it the added issue of paying for parking. If I have to pay in advance and guess the time I’ll be back I’m always so worried about underestimating the time I’ll need - so I pay for WAY more time than I really need. I just get so anxious about being fined, or getting a parking ticket. I hate being late for anything.