New Aspie

Hello Explorer

Thank you for your reply. It is good to hear that someone else has had the same experiences. I spent years trying to figure out what was 'wrong' - and like you, finding out those faults are not faults is such a relief.

I too got the bullying - right through school and then in most of my work places.  But I could never communicate well enough to stop it or understand why people would want to bully me. After years of looking things up I went to the Doctors gave him what I later found out were some basic symptoms of Asperger.

I was promptly 'diagnosed' with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and sent for counselling. The counsellor said I didn't have that, so the Doc referred me to the Community Mental Health Team, who said there was nothing wrong with me. Over the following years I was briefly put on Anti-depressants despite not being depressed, told by the Doc I was obsessive because I remembered all of the dates I'd been to see them, and also was misdiagnosed for several physical problems.

Then eighteen months ago I saw an article in a newspaper about someone with Aspergers and had that wonderful 'eureka' moment when I realised that was me. Now, with my official diagnosis I know what I have to deal with and can get on with it. A gradual process I know - and doesn't improve that social interaction - but at least I can now set boundaries with people and offer proper explanations and reasons. That alone has made a difference.

Hi Stonechat,

That's what happened to me too - diagnosed at 50, after years of trying & failing to fit in and make sense of how other people interact. The great thing is being able to come to terms with yourself, rather than constantly trying to remedy all those faults which were not faults - it's such a relief.

Then you can read about the condition - I kept yelling "but I'm like that!" at the page - fantastic. And then I began to rebuild my life around what will suit the me that I am getting to know, rather than what I thought it ought to look like.

It doesn't take away the problems of social interaction, but I can accept that more easily because I know why. I don't try to force myself to be chatty, which never worked anyway. And when I was bullied at work, as happens to so many of us, I could threaten to report the bullying of a person with autism, which shut them up very quickly - the threat was enough.

I wish local services, GPs, etc, would recognise our occassional needs, and that there were more social groups for older adults, but we are a minority within a minority, so it will take a while.