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Wife has Apserger's Syndrome

2scarredhands

Hello! Bit nervous being here.

I know for a fact that my wife has Aspergers. She has very poor social skills and has only 1 friend. It is putting a strain on our marriage.

She has never been diagnosed. I mentioned to her once that I thought she had Apsergers but she denies she has. Talking with her is very tough as she is unable to have a discussuin without getting volatile. 

Any suggestions as to my next move?

Parents

  • Hi - this sounds like a difficult situation but really, if you feel that strongly that Asperger's is the problem and it's putting a strain on your marriage, you do need to talk to her about getting a diagnosis. I mean, I've never been married (I'm 16!) and I have Asperger's so I probably don't have a clue, and I'm sure it is difficult that she gets volatile, but I'll still try and give some advice. Firstly, she might not have Asperger's - she could have mental health problems, or her problems may even be a result of an event/events that have occured in her life (but I'm sure you'd know about that as her husband). Maybe if it would upset her, you could speak to a doctor on your own, say you're very concerned about her, describe her symptoms etc. and they will give you more advice on where to go next. However, there will come a point where she'll have to choose whether she gets the help and understanding she deserves, and if she's really against it and there's nothing you can do to make her more open to the idea, then you'll probably just have to accept it and her as she is. But it does sound difficult - if her social skills are as poor as you say, then she probably does need some help, whether you're right about her having AS or not. Hope I helped.

Reply

  • Hi - this sounds like a difficult situation but really, if you feel that strongly that Asperger's is the problem and it's putting a strain on your marriage, you do need to talk to her about getting a diagnosis. I mean, I've never been married (I'm 16!) and I have Asperger's so I probably don't have a clue, and I'm sure it is difficult that she gets volatile, but I'll still try and give some advice. Firstly, she might not have Asperger's - she could have mental health problems, or her problems may even be a result of an event/events that have occured in her life (but I'm sure you'd know about that as her husband). Maybe if it would upset her, you could speak to a doctor on your own, say you're very concerned about her, describe her symptoms etc. and they will give you more advice on where to go next. However, there will come a point where she'll have to choose whether she gets the help and understanding she deserves, and if she's really against it and there's nothing you can do to make her more open to the idea, then you'll probably just have to accept it and her as she is. But it does sound difficult - if her social skills are as poor as you say, then she probably does need some help, whether you're right about her having AS or not. Hope I helped.

Children
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