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Anybody ever find a self help book that actually worked for them?

Paul

I suspect that most don't because they are for neurotypical people. 

Over the years I have read so many with few making any difference.  We (my wife and I) have changed our lifestyle a bit because of Dr Rangan Chatterjee's books but that is more to do with diet, eating and sleeping.  However, any books on changing how you think or deal with other people or cope with depression/destructive thinking, never seem to do much.

  • OMIGOD yes!! "Games people play" by Eric Berne!

    Was my ticket out of "friendszone" and social isolation generally. I've just ordered two new copies, one to replace mine that I gave away, and one for a friend who needs the information contained within.

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Yes I like books that help you discover yourself, so not so much the traditional self help books but ones that suggest alternative places to look for guidance.  I did quite like Derren Brown's Happy - which was basically a suggestion to follow the Stoic tradition.

    Jay Shetty's Think Like a Monk is good too - both are using age old principle to try and get you to see the world differently rather than a quick fix "Do this and everything will be ok" type approach.

  • Books which help you understand the difference between proper 'healthy' boundaries and abuse I find the most useful. 

    The Artists Way was a good start from me in learning to self-care and beginning to understand cruel and abusive behaviour. Perhaps it's that I was female, like Ayan Rand, and always told that any time spent by my self, focusing on a craft or art form, or attempting to be mindful of me was Selfish. I fully agree with a virtue of 'selfishness' or self-care not as a cruelty to others but as appropriating kindness to oneself. 

    I've also found christian principles or ideals to be worthwhile - but these need to be discovered for oneself. It is interesting how actually reading what's in the bible can be profoundly different than what others seem to think is in it. And while here again, many of these apply to males quite specifically it seems, they've taught me what to expect and what standard I wish to live by. 

    I have talked much of philosophy on this site, but the fine lines between psychoanalytical and philosophical/ethical have revealed hard difference between the sociopath/psychopath or an immature neurotic and the schizo-autistic analytic. They can 'appear' the same, but understanding key differences is quite crucial.

  • When I was doing a Computing HNC the lecturer recommended the "For dummies" books for some topics. They did stuff related to Microsoft exams and CCNA.  They don't seem to do so many books in that line now.  But they do quite a few in other subjects for example:

    Body, Mind, & Spirit:

    https://www.dummies.com/category/books/computers-33513

  • No, they always seem very superficial and they tend to come in waves, riding trends, which is always suspicious to me. I have found the best insight into other people and 'the human condition' come from novels. As they often describe the 'inner life'.

    Some of the ones I have found useful, and entertaining, in no particular order:  

    'Dubliners', and also 'Ulysses', James Joyce, 'Lord of the Flies', William Golding, 'Catcher in the Rye', JD Salinger, 'Fahrenheit 451', Ray Bradbury, 'Slaughterhouse 5', Kurt Vonnegut,, 'Middlemarch', George Eliot, 'Stoner', John Williams. 'The Plague', Albert Camus, 'Steppenwolf', Herman Hesse.