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being independent with money isn't going well

BabyPotato

I've recently been given financial independence becuase I turned 18. I used to be on a prepaid card called go henry where my parents could track and limit my spending. Since being independent I've really struggled to save anything and have been taken advantage of a lot.

I'm bad with money.It's my fault but when people ask to borrow money I expect them to pay me back. I don't have a use for my money except for bus transport because I have a feeding tube and don't eat and I've stopped growing so wear the same clothes and shoes. I also live at home and I'm dependant on my parents. I buy them gifts but they tell me not to. They said to get something that makes me happy and them being happy makes me happy. 

I recently got 2 Jobs and need to save money for university after college which I'll start next year. I'm just bad at saving and think that if it went back to how it was when my parents looked after my money, everyone would be better off. 

  • My approach to saving is a bit radical like all my ways.

    I do not transfer money to another account with similar interest only to pay overdraft charge on main account and call it saving :P That was my ex. LOL

    I found that it is better to organise your shopping habits, and schudule them, if it not something immediate. Saves lots of money, like a colleague discount on all you buy.

    1. If you have Aldi nearby shop there. I do except heavy stuff, to lazy to carry.

    2. Otherwise Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys, similar range prices. 

    3 Use Tesco and Sainsbury's customer loyalty card, discounts like £8 of £40 once a month is a nice bonus.

    4. Heavy and not immediate items you wait for discounts on them in chosen store and order online when you have to order over minimum order to avoid additional charge.

    5. I buy myself a christmas and  a birthday gift, waiting until something i want turns up somewhere on discount. this way you might avoid spending to improve mood syndrom.

    6. Just in case set up planned overdraft, it's cheaper then unplanned overdraft.

    7. I buy everything on credit card, in the bank where I have main debit card. This way you are not charged for paying it off if you do it on time. This way you have to pay for it before the end of next month. Ammount from last statement before payment due date. Use loyalty option there if available.

    8. Set up direct debits on main debit card account. Only them there makes it easy to have on overview of all bills you pay.

    9. Change suppliers of everything every year, New deal elsewhere is always better. UK's supplier have a rule loyalty penalty. Including phone if initialy you took deal with something, not just card with minutes.

    At the moment I do not remember if there was something else.

    O that paying of credit card tell you how much you spent previous month on food, alcohol, tabaco, and other unhealthy habits. :P

  • in reply to JJ

    This is actually really useful!!

    thank you so much :) 

  • Just to suggest a practical option for you:

    I have two bank accounts. I 'pay myself' once a week from one into the other (with a standing order) and have a debit card for it. It doesn't have an overdraft.

    The other bank account is where I get paid into monthly from work and have any bills (like mobile phone or whatever) taken out of. I cut up the cards for that one.

    So I always know how much money I have for 'general spending' for the week.

    When I was younger I met met quite a few people who took advantage of me with money. Like other people have said - just say no. If they try to talk you around, it's an indicator that they might not have your best interests at heart .... or they may not be being realistic with themselves about how they can pay you back. It's totally ok to say no.

  • in reply to Joseph

    I want to do applied medical sciences :) 

  • never lend anyone money at all. i learnt this young after always lending my sister money and she never paid it back and expected me to never ask for it back or forget about it and i felt bad asking for it back but when i did ask she always deflected to buy more time to probably hope more time goes on and i forget. she does this to my mum too, everyone does this i realise, they borrow money and then hope you never ask for it back or mention it again and forget about it. this is why you never lend anyone money.... this is also why money lenders have to resort to strong arm tactics and big thugs at peoples door to ever get their money back too.

  • Hi it sounds like you’re doing ok, though you shouldn’t really give people money if they’re not paying it back. Saving is a good plan if you don’t have anything that you need right now. It just takes getting used to you’ll be fine Slight smile. What are you planning on doing at university?

  • You're not bad with money. People are bad to you, because they ask you for money and they advantage of you, and they don't pay you back. And unless you bother them a lot about it, they won't give you back your money. 

    So generally with people, if you don't like the idea of hunting people down for money, then avoid lending it out. Even if they ask you in their nicest voice the smallest amount of money, say no (even if you want to say yes), just to see how they react, because they get angry at you and storm off, then it's great that you didn't give a person like that your money. Because If you said yes, they might just keep asking you for more and more money, higher and higher amounts of money, and they'll get angry if you stop giving them money one day, guilt tripping you by saying "Well you gave me money last time! Why no money this time?!" That's not a thankful person.

    And personal finance is rarely taught to anyone. As a child, I asked my teacher to teach me about money. My teacher's said it was my parent's job. When I went home, I asked my parents to teach me about money, they said it was the teacher's job. And I realized that no one's going to teach me about money.  Even after leaving college, I didn't know anything about about money. So I just got a book and tried to teach myself.

    There's some things you need in general; a place to live, food (feeding tube), clothing, transportation, you already have the basics though. 

    So while you're still living with your parents, get a credit card and spend it on a few things you need, and pay it off every month (in person, by phone, or through online banking), and this will give you a good credit score, which just shows that this person is able to pay money back on time, and people like lordlords want to know this information, because they can then likely trust that you'll be a good tenant who will pay your rent on time every month. Or else it'll be like how you're just giving out money to everyone and not getting anything back. Those people would be considered bad borrowers. And If you gave out a room for someone to rent, and they don't have money to give you, then they're considered a bad renter.

    So you have a few financial expenses, like transportation, and feeding tube. And you a few financial goals, like university after college. So pay off your expenses first, then with the money left over, portion an amount for your financial goals, for university, for a place of your own, or a car one day, save some money for those things, and set a limited amount for spending for "fun," that's similar to the limit your parents used to give you. You can also put money towards an emergency fund too.