Not sure how much more I can take!

Hello,


Sorry this is going to be a bit of a rant I think......
I just don't know how much more I can take of it all at the moment!
My daughters been on the waiting list for an ados since June last year and it was due to be done in January.
I keep calling to check and one of the drs left and so there is a backlog and they can't tell me how much longer its going to be...
My daughter is getting worse in terms of her violence, growling, pinching, unreasonableness, difficulty etc etc and the whole time I'm waiting I feel in limbo. I've had time off work and I'm on meds because I just can't cope. I've cried every day this week and I just feel like I can't go on. I love her so much but it hurts to see her so scared of life and wondering why she has no friends and I am just so worried she'll never be happy, even I don't make her happy anymore. 
All I want to do at the moment is run away and I think I've put all my hope on this test and they might not even say she has asd!! 
Sorry. I said it would be a rant I just needed to blurt and I need someone to tell me I'm normal feeling like this, I just feel like a complete failure!!
Parents
  • Thank you for replying, thank you for being understanding, just thanks!

    I don't really know who to ask to give me some time out, my mum is a bit old fashioned and blinkered with regards to my daughters problems and it quite often makes her worse. My husband (not her father - who has nothing to do with her) is brilliant but he's also flagging and I don't really know who else to ask.... I suppose next week when school's back it'll give me some time off and I can get a bit of "me" time.

    She's 7, I think I thought that diagnosis would have been much quicker because I suppose it just seems super important to me!

    I really really really like the running suggestion, I'm going to try tomorrow - it'll be more like a walk though!

    Crystal12 - please don't apologize, I'm not doing any of it yet. I'm struggling to find the will to be able to do it - I must sound so self pitying!! I just feel like I am at the end of the road, I think I let it all go on to long before asking for help. I have made a resolution to make lots of noise on Monday - I am going to call my GP, my daughters SALT, the paed office, anyone who will listen (!) and try and get things moving.

    Thank you again, it has really helped for me to be able to just blurt and see that people understand xx

Reply
  • Thank you for replying, thank you for being understanding, just thanks!

    I don't really know who to ask to give me some time out, my mum is a bit old fashioned and blinkered with regards to my daughters problems and it quite often makes her worse. My husband (not her father - who has nothing to do with her) is brilliant but he's also flagging and I don't really know who else to ask.... I suppose next week when school's back it'll give me some time off and I can get a bit of "me" time.

    She's 7, I think I thought that diagnosis would have been much quicker because I suppose it just seems super important to me!

    I really really really like the running suggestion, I'm going to try tomorrow - it'll be more like a walk though!

    Crystal12 - please don't apologize, I'm not doing any of it yet. I'm struggling to find the will to be able to do it - I must sound so self pitying!! I just feel like I am at the end of the road, I think I let it all go on to long before asking for help. I have made a resolution to make lots of noise on Monday - I am going to call my GP, my daughters SALT, the paed office, anyone who will listen (!) and try and get things moving.

    Thank you again, it has really helped for me to be able to just blurt and see that people understand xx

Children
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