Hello everyone,
Looking for a bit advice. Please bear with me this is going to be a bit of a novel - I am a mum with a five and a half year old son Matthew. Yesterday we were at a birthday party and Matthew wasn’t coping particularly well, he has had the cold and it was maybe a bit early to go to a party but it was his wee girlfriends party so we went. At this point I want to through in that Matthew has a big brother Ethan who is 13th months older. who wasnt at the party and that always makes things a bit harder for him.
I was having a chat to one of the dads at the party, who’s son happens Autistic, and he was remembers that my son didn’t cope well at another party last year. The other party we left after about half an hour. He said in no way was he saying Matthew had autism but he noticed similarities in the way his son has a sensitivity problem, for example my son had his fingers in his ears – it was very loud. We chatted about sensitivity and about how Matthew can be quite fussy with his clothes and food. For example it’s a challenge to get him in jeans from when he was a baby or get him in restrictive clothes. He isn’t much of a mixer and hates party games – cause he always loses! he was crying serveral times yesterday and I felt awful for letting him go we had to again leave before the end
Anyway so I have come had a look at signs and symptoms and some things strike me as yes he does that, and other things no that’s not Matthew. For example
- He can play on his own for hours: we have always said he is the easiest child in the world to look after. If you didn’t check on him you could go hours without seeing him
- From an early age he was brilliant at jigsaws, far better than his brother from around two, and he is great at Maths again better than his brother.
- He gets lost in what we have termed ‘Matthew Land’ you can ask him to put his shoes on and twenty minutes later he is still playing with his shoes – this was a massive issue when he was in nursery. He is much better now, but his primary 1 teacher says she always sends Matthew to get ready first for gym and he is still last.
- His speech is very babyish. He still has his wee baby tone, we think its cute and he will always be Matthew baby. He cant say all of his ‘r’s. and more recently he has actually become harder to understand since he started reading. I had a friend say to me recently that’s the first time I haven’t been able to make him out. Personally I have had to ask him to repeat himself a lot recently, and his childminder has commented on this too.
- His balance is not great, his spatial awareness is rubbish, he is very clumsy and good at knocking things over. – but then so am I …
- I have noticed his eye contact isn’t great he will make eye contact but only for a limited time but I have always put this down to shy cuteness
- he hates busy and noisy places. i remeber when we went on holiday when he was about 18 months he would not sit in the resturant - he hated it in there and screamed everytime we went in.
- he was very colicy as a baby - basically had to be held for the 1st six months constantly.
But
- He met all his milestones, slept through from a normal age, walked at 13 months, talked at the right time, toilet training was a doddle.
- He is very cuddly and empathetic to other children and animals if upset, is a good sharer. He hates to be told off, he will get very upset. His behaviour is very good usually. Has never been told off at school. He loves to please.
- He does not crave routine – he is very flexible. Hes a wee plodder he will plod along with whatever your doing.
- He loves pretend play.
- His behaviour has never been that challenging. However I do remember the 2 – 3 years as him being very stubborn and that he could throw some major meltdowns and if he did he was difficult to handle. I remember having to negotiate with his big brother saying please let Matthew have this one as hes gonna scream otherwise and you know what its like when he screams. I did this for a few months and realised how unfair I was being. I remember one nursery trip when he was about three and a half and that was the worst he ever was - total meltdown cause he really wanted a soft toy I couldn’t afford to buy and I could hardly even pick him up it took me a good 20 mins to get the situation under control. I remember another mum on the trip saying her son had similar meltdowns and that it was horrible. Her son now has an autism diagnosis.
But Matthew isn’t like this anymore and it was only on occasions back then.
I know it’s a spectrum could he be at the hardly effected end of the spectrum? Or is the daydreaming, the clumsiness the sensitivity all just down to his personality type – where does that stop and autism begin? And is autism is worth knowing about if he is barely effected, what good would it do him to know this?
Hes been in private nursery since he was 4 months old 3 days a week, then regular nursery and now school and no caregiver has ever mentioned any concerns. In fact he sheet for going to school was all ticked green – hes right on schedule with everything, compared to the friend with autism whose sheet was all red and amber.
I know no one here can tell me if he does or doesn’t – but is it worth checking out to see if he does? Or does it sound like no way does he have it and its all personality?
Any advice gratefully received.
