Diagnosis catch 22

I think Silver's suggestion of writing a letter is a good one but it may not solve the basic problem: it is very difficult to get adult diagnosis because there isn't sufficient provision countrywide.  If you're living somewhere where there isn't any (I live in Essex and it's night on impossible despite some people working very hard to try and change that) this effectively means that even if your GP were prepared to recognise your need for assessment and diagnosis, there is not likely to be anywhere he/she can send you for that assessment.

I'm sure you must find it extremely difficult to deal with people telling you, essentially, to grow up and get on with it.  I think you already know that you should limit interaction with anyone with this attitude as much as feasibly possible.  You cannot make someone who doesn't want to understand, understand!  

I would ask you how much you have read.  One of the things that helped me to accept my situation and move forward with a different outlook was reading other people's experiences.  If you have read a lot, then sorry for stating the obvious, but if you haven't, please read Aspergirls by Rudy Simone.  I found myself in that book and my world finally made sense.  It didn't make it any better but at least I wasn't flailing around wondering what on earth was happening anymore!  

A sense of humour is commonly believed to be absent in people with ASD/HFA.  This is not, in my experience, accurate.  In our house we like to think that our sense of humour is simply more 'intellectual' since we are punning masters who have enormous fun with words and use sarcasm like the sharpened blade it can be!  We don't respond well to inanity.  That doesn't mean we have no sense of humour: simply that we have a "different" sense of humour to a lot of people we come across.  Never unerestimate the joy that comes when you finally gather a few people into your life who "get it".

I also found that reading about others like me made me treat myself more gently.  I am less inclined to revert immediately to "what's wrong with me?"-type thoughts now and more likely to think "ah! I see what happened there - oh well!".  Self-esteem is hard to come by when you've been walking through life with people looking at you like you're an alien but self-educating allows you look at yourself differently.  My favourite analogy is that you would not beat yourself up for being misunderstood in China - you would go out and learn Chinese.  By the same token, once you accept that you're speaking a different language, you can choose whether or not to stick the Babel Fish in your ear: that gives you power which leads ultimately to self-esteem.

Trust yourself.  I understand the need for a name: naming something makes it smaller because it is no longer an unknown to be feared.  But if you are unlikely to be able to have someone do that for you, you need to use your intellect (which is clearly not impaired) to do it for yourself.

In my opinion - obviously!

I think Silver's suggestion of writing a letter is a good one but it may not solve the basic problem: it is very difficult to get adult diagnosis because there isn't sufficient provision countrywide.  If you're living somewhere where there isn't any (I live in Essex and it's night on impossible despite some people working very hard to try and change that) this effectively means that even if your GP were prepared to recognise your need for assessment and diagnosis, there is not likely to be anywhere he/she can send you for that assessment.

I'm sure you must find it extremely difficult to deal with people telling you, essentially, to grow up and get on with it.  I think you already know that you should limit interaction with anyone with this attitude as much as feasibly possible.  You cannot make someone who doesn't want to understand, understand!  

I would ask you how much you have read.  One of the things that helped me to accept my situation and move forward with a different outlook was reading other people's experiences.  If you have read a lot, then sorry for stating the obvious, but if you haven't, please read Aspergirls by Rudy Simone.  I found myself in that book and my world finally made sense.  It didn't make it any better but at least I wasn't flailing around wondering what on earth was happening anymore!  

A sense of humour is commonly believed to be absent in people with ASD/HFA.  This is not, in my experience, accurate.  In our house we like to think that our sense of humour is simply more 'intellectual' since we are punning masters who have enormous fun with words and use sarcasm like the sharpened blade it can be!  We don't respond well to inanity.  That doesn't mean we have no sense of humour: simply that we have a "different" sense of humour to a lot of people we come across.  Never unerestimate the joy that comes when you finally gather a few people into your life who "get it".

I also found that reading about others like me made me treat myself more gently.  I am less inclined to revert immediately to "what's wrong with me?"-type thoughts now and more likely to think "ah! I see what happened there - oh well!".  Self-esteem is hard to come by when you've been walking through life with people looking at you like you're an alien but self-educating allows you look at yourself differently.  My favourite analogy is that you would not beat yourself up for being misunderstood in China - you would go out and learn Chinese.  By the same token, once you accept that you're speaking a different language, you can choose whether or not to stick the Babel Fish in your ear: that gives you power which leads ultimately to self-esteem.

Trust yourself.  I understand the need for a name: naming something makes it smaller because it is no longer an unknown to be feared.  But if you are unlikely to be able to have someone do that for you, you need to use your intellect (which is clearly not impaired) to do it for yourself.

In my opinion - obviously!