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Housework

Desmond79

I would get pretty tired just doing the dishes and laundry. It feels like I've had twelve rounds with Tyson Furey.

A friend from Belfast I chat to online says that I'm exaggerating. But she understands that I'm impatient; due to my Autism.

I just feel that I can never get a minute's rest.

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  • Yep! I need order around me. I need stuff done and done in order - then, I manage. Then, I'm free and can relax. Then, I rest enough. Left to my own devices, housework is done in systematic order (though I'm slow) but then stays tidy and clean. Only then do I feel I have permission to go lose myself for hours in the archives or whatever creative project I'm currently obsessed with. I can't enjoy those activities in a domestic or administrative mess.

    If I don't get that order, everything falls apart. Small jobs become exhausting. Somethings just aren't done. I can't see the wood for the trees and turn in circles feeling very stressed and not knowing where to start. It's like I'm trying to scramble up a slag heap, but someone keeps tipping more slag on the top when I'm half way up, so I never get to the top. I start my new week feeling more tired than I did at the end of the last one and with nothing I need to care for myself having been done.

    I love my husband dearly, but cannot get him to understand this. He's the type who can sit in mess and disorder and not even notice. Moreover, he seems to drip debris wherever he goes. I end up feeling like I'm face down on the ground at the bottom of the slag heap with ever more of it piling on top of me.

    He thinks I'm just moaning, but can't see my wellbeing and ability to function depend upon the routine and order around me. 

  • in reply to Dawn

    Ughhh...do his efforts of cleaning look like 'surface' cleaning where there's still bits in corners? LOL 

    I'm feeling the need to deep clean just knowing this! 'dripping debris' [face-palm]

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Oh, that's not the half of it.  I've tried to make him leave a couple of time over because of it.  It's NOT because I don't love him.  I DO. He has a heart the size of China and in many ways I couldn't live without him. But because I seriously can't handle living the way he does and no matter how I try to communicate it; I said it in a calm adult way, I've screamed it, I've drawn pictures, I've written him letters - nothing registers.  I'm beginning to think he is just pathologically unable to see or otherwise detect dirt, the way I just seem to be pathologically unable to get most of his jokes.

    Trust me, I wish I could buy the house next door then put him all his debris in it.  Then I am quite sure we'd have a perfect marriage, LOL

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Yes, I gather the French Court was the worst.  Uggg!

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