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Looking for Personal Values.

mrs.snooks

In my reading, there is a lot of talk about finding my personal values.

I honestly don't know where to start and my mind just comes up blank when trying to think what my personal values are. Can anyone give me any hints on where to start and even what personal values actually means.

  • What about this. Abe Lincoln "When I do good, I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad that's my religion."  so just do things that are good whenever and however you can for deserving people. Nice and simple. It actually does make you feel great. However you need to make sure they are deserving. It can make you feel sick if you do a good turn for an undeserving individual not because you expect anything in return (you don't) just that you realise you shouldn't have done that for them but when they do deserve something its a great feeling to know you have done something that should be done.

  • in reply to mrs.snooks

    As an aspie, from the start I was taught to be good and help people and all of the other 'good' things.    I have unbelievable 'drive' and passion and I can easily push though adversity and I can accomplish anything.

    I naively thought everyone was the same - my first job was with a bunch of aspies all doing the same - we changed  the world (a little bit).

    It was only in my 20s that I began to realise that for most people, work was a social event with no intention to achieve anything - they had no clear values - or they were flexible and random values.

    It was only in my 30s where I realised my values were soooooooo different to everyone else's.

    I am literally like Mr Data on STNG.   Doing the right thing at all times.     Perfect in every way but lacking in basic human understanding.

  • in reply to Plastic

    That does sounds very noble indeed. I have realised I did this core values exercise about 12 months ago as part of a course and totally forgot about it. My Core Values then and now seem to have changed completely. 

    Values against your needs and feelings is a tough one. I think I have a set of Core Beliefs about how I should be that do not help me at all. 

    I like the Core Values pictogram. All the different ones make me feel like I need a few more to add to my own list. 

  • So now I have a definition.

    Your values are there to help you question whether your behavior and actions create the life you want to live.

    Wurzelova, Hana. Find Your Values, Find Yourself: The Simple 3-Step Method to Discover Your Values and Bring Clarity to Your Decision-Making (Finding Yourself Step-by-Step Book 1) (p. 32). Kindle Edition.

    Today's core values have come out as:

    Balance, Courage and Harmony. Just have to work out what to do with them now.

    You might have picked up, l have a bit of a thing for a self-help book Grin

  • I suffer terribly from unattainably high personal values.     I am compelled to "do the right thing" - which sound very noble and honourable - even if it against my own needs.    It makes me into the model person or employee but it clashes with my feelings.