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No, no. You don't get it. You have Autism

David23

When I was in University, I joined the local Dungeons and Dragons club. I was met by a DM, called Austin, Austin was a jacked up guy who studies psychology and liked to bodybuild. All the player gathered in the room. It was a session of Dungeons and Dragons.

For record, the DM knows I am autistic. When another player named Greg started making bigotted jokes during session 0; sexism, homophobia, racism etc and I would angry and upset at it, Austin would take me to the side and slowly "explain" the joke over and over again until "I got it" saying my autism got in the way of humour.

When I tried to leave, he would stop me and try to "reason it out", ask me to explain my reason. He would then deny anything, then would explain that I just don't get it, it's just a joke all for laughs. He then tried to get me to "get the jokes" again. He would constantly say to other players that "I don't get social cues so don't mind her" and would list any symptoms of autism I would show at the game and say to the players to not be angry and that my brain doesn't function as normal.

Parents

  • That's patronizing. It looks like he's helping you on the surface, but it's a way for him to showoff what he has studied in psychology and look good, so he thinks he knows everything there is to know about autism, pointing it out every single chance he gets, in order to shine, in order to make you and others "more aware," to bring some kind of enlightenment upon everyone around the table. 

    The way he treated autism was as if it was a problem, that you just didn't get things because of autism, that autism was an obstacle that got in the way of everything, that your brain doesn't function as normal because of autism. He prioritizes the disorder first, instead of treating you as a human being first. That's dehumanizing. And when you tried to leave the table because you were uncomfortable, he tried to dig into your brain further by asking you to explain why, and made you stay so it'll look like he's being all-inclusive and a gentleman, but what a jerk. He sees you as a disordered person, instead of just a human being.

    Instead of trying to understanding you as an individual, he tried to fix and change you, to "get the jokes" that were not funny to you, to put you down by telling everyone that you just "don't get social cues, so don't get angry" as if they were getting angry at some point in time which is not fun or welcoming. And then he gaslights you by denying the things that you were experiencing that were troubling you, by brushing it off and saying "you just don't get it." I don't care what kind of stupid crappy study in psychology he has, that's rude and patronizing. 

    Many people even without autism can struggle in social situations, people can be afraid of presentations, interviews, or even just talking to someone they like a lot. So for him to treat you that way and make the entire situation as "blame it on the autism" is not right. Don't go there anymore. 

Reply

  • That's patronizing. It looks like he's helping you on the surface, but it's a way for him to showoff what he has studied in psychology and look good, so he thinks he knows everything there is to know about autism, pointing it out every single chance he gets, in order to shine, in order to make you and others "more aware," to bring some kind of enlightenment upon everyone around the table. 

    The way he treated autism was as if it was a problem, that you just didn't get things because of autism, that autism was an obstacle that got in the way of everything, that your brain doesn't function as normal because of autism. He prioritizes the disorder first, instead of treating you as a human being first. That's dehumanizing. And when you tried to leave the table because you were uncomfortable, he tried to dig into your brain further by asking you to explain why, and made you stay so it'll look like he's being all-inclusive and a gentleman, but what a jerk. He sees you as a disordered person, instead of just a human being.

    Instead of trying to understanding you as an individual, he tried to fix and change you, to "get the jokes" that were not funny to you, to put you down by telling everyone that you just "don't get social cues, so don't get angry" as if they were getting angry at some point in time which is not fun or welcoming. And then he gaslights you by denying the things that you were experiencing that were troubling you, by brushing it off and saying "you just don't get it." I don't care what kind of stupid crappy study in psychology he has, that's rude and patronizing. 

    Many people even without autism can struggle in social situations, people can be afraid of presentations, interviews, or even just talking to someone they like a lot. So for him to treat you that way and make the entire situation as "blame it on the autism" is not right. Don't go there anymore. 

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