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diagnosis for 10 year old, other advice needed

LisaLQ

Hi guys,

My son (one of triplets) is 10 years old, and is having a really rough time at the moment.  I separated from his dad in January, and sadly he passed away in October.  He is awaiting a CAMHS appointment to be assessed for Aspergers.

His behaviour has really declined lately, he's being bullied at school (or he believes he is) about his odd behaviour and lack of co-ordination (they take the mick about him not being good at football), and is now screaming and kicking and struggling when I'm trying to get him ready for school.

A bit of info about his behaviour: he is obsessed with maps/roads/journey planning, timekeeping, he is blunt and doesn't understand he hurts peoples' feelings with what he says, he takes everything he hears about as the truth or literally (eg. he's petrified about it being the end of the world today), he angers easily if he doesn't get what he wants (lashes out, runs away, occasionally swears, breaks things), he is obsessed with radios (he has three) and the computer, he hates germs (but also hates baths - go figure lol) and wont share food/drinks or eat anything touched by someone else, he hand flaps, and has facial tics.  

He's doing fine in school academically, and was assessed by an ed psych a couple of years ago in his old school (we've moved out of the area when I left his dad) who said because he didn't need help in school he wasn't going to pursue a diagnosis, and said to get the GP involved if I was having trouble at home.

So we're waiting for a CAMHS appointment (referred in August), but in the meantime, wondered - is there anything else I can do?  The school are aware that we're awaiting referral (they suggested it at a parent's evening earlier in the year) and I've made them aware that he's not happy about coming to school - so the family support worker is going to have a word with him today.

I'm seriously wondering whether he'd be better homeschooled or in a school for kids with similar issues, but don't want him to feel different to the other kids and obviously without a diagnosis, we have nothing to work with anyway.

Any advice really appreciated, I'm so tired at the mo (I have four other children, including his triplet siblings) and am struggling to manage him when he's like this.  Must say that in between meltdowns and tantrums, he is the most wonderful little man, very intelligent and great company.

Thanks,

Lisa

xx

Parents

  • Sounds a familiar story - I found it hard to get the problem recognised as my son was academically good.

    What I would suggest is do the best you can to treat your son as an individual. Others will compare him to siblings ( I have twins one with and one without Aspergers - its not helpful)

     Do you have a family friend or grandparent who can help you get some individual time with your son and give him some space. I would try really hard to get out just for a cake at a cafe or a change of scene on a 1-1 basis.

    Keep pushing for a diagnosis. Once you get it things should be easier as you should be able to access support.

    Don't be afraid to choose a different school for him. The pressure on siblings is hard too - with differnt schools they get some space too.

     

Reply

  • Sounds a familiar story - I found it hard to get the problem recognised as my son was academically good.

    What I would suggest is do the best you can to treat your son as an individual. Others will compare him to siblings ( I have twins one with and one without Aspergers - its not helpful)

     Do you have a family friend or grandparent who can help you get some individual time with your son and give him some space. I would try really hard to get out just for a cake at a cafe or a change of scene on a 1-1 basis.

    Keep pushing for a diagnosis. Once you get it things should be easier as you should be able to access support.

    Don't be afraid to choose a different school for him. The pressure on siblings is hard too - with differnt schools they get some space too.

     

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