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diagnosis for 10 year old, other advice needed

LisaLQ

Hi guys,

My son (one of triplets) is 10 years old, and is having a really rough time at the moment.  I separated from his dad in January, and sadly he passed away in October.  He is awaiting a CAMHS appointment to be assessed for Aspergers.

His behaviour has really declined lately, he's being bullied at school (or he believes he is) about his odd behaviour and lack of co-ordination (they take the mick about him not being good at football), and is now screaming and kicking and struggling when I'm trying to get him ready for school.

A bit of info about his behaviour: he is obsessed with maps/roads/journey planning, timekeeping, he is blunt and doesn't understand he hurts peoples' feelings with what he says, he takes everything he hears about as the truth or literally (eg. he's petrified about it being the end of the world today), he angers easily if he doesn't get what he wants (lashes out, runs away, occasionally swears, breaks things), he is obsessed with radios (he has three) and the computer, he hates germs (but also hates baths - go figure lol) and wont share food/drinks or eat anything touched by someone else, he hand flaps, and has facial tics.  

He's doing fine in school academically, and was assessed by an ed psych a couple of years ago in his old school (we've moved out of the area when I left his dad) who said because he didn't need help in school he wasn't going to pursue a diagnosis, and said to get the GP involved if I was having trouble at home.

So we're waiting for a CAMHS appointment (referred in August), but in the meantime, wondered - is there anything else I can do?  The school are aware that we're awaiting referral (they suggested it at a parent's evening earlier in the year) and I've made them aware that he's not happy about coming to school - so the family support worker is going to have a word with him today.

I'm seriously wondering whether he'd be better homeschooled or in a school for kids with similar issues, but don't want him to feel different to the other kids and obviously without a diagnosis, we have nothing to work with anyway.

Any advice really appreciated, I'm so tired at the mo (I have four other children, including his triplet siblings) and am struggling to manage him when he's like this.  Must say that in between meltdowns and tantrums, he is the most wonderful little man, very intelligent and great company.

Thanks,

Lisa

xx

  • Further to my last post, I had an appointment with the occupational therapist at CAMHS/CYPS today, without my son, to go over his background and "symptoms" again.  It went well, we didn't get everything covered so she may do a home visit to finish off his background info.  

    He is going in for two "baseline" assessments next week and the week after, I'll have to wait in the waiting room while they chat and play with him.

    She said - judging by what I'd told her, he is showing classic signs of either autism or aspergers, but she can't do the diagnosis til the baseline assessments are done and other assessments are made.

    However, she said whether he is diagnosed or not, she will be helping give him the support he needs to deal with his bereavement, his anger issues, and his depression.  

    She said that they will likely do another assessment at school, and diagnosis may be a long way off, but she said he is going to get this back up whatever happens and we are on the road to finding the best course of action for him.

    She's given me some ideas to help with his anxiety, like carrying a photo of my partner (my son gets angry when my partner goes home after staying), and some games he might prefer.  Also mentionned deep touch therapy - something I'd be interested in hearing more about because I'm trained as a massage therapist, so I could potentially do this for him if they showed me how to.

    She also agreed that he may have trouble transitionning to a mainstream secondary school but said not to worry about that just now, as once he's diagnosed they can either help support him into a mainstream school or decide if he'd be more suited to one of the special schools (there is one locally to me who deal solely with kids with autism/Aspergers).

    There's so much more I can't remember, but I don't think I've ever felt this relieved!

  • Just an update, he had his appointment with CYPS (formerly CAMHS) today and they're going to get him assessed for ASD/Aspergers, but it was just to discuss our issues and see how they can help, so to do that they need to refer him on and it'll be 12-14 weeks before he's seen by the next stage.  Still - it's all a step forwards.  School are probably putting him on school action too.

  • Hi folks.
    Thank you for the advice.  I really appreciate it.
    My son's CAMHS appointment arrived, it's next Tuesday. When I went to let his teacher know today, she asked what it was for and when I said to start the ball rolling for a diagnosis, she said she was glad I came as she literally had decided to refer him to the special educational needs team because she also suspected Aspergers. So in a way I'm glad that someone else noticed the signs. Apparently he's doing great grade wise, and although his triplet brother told their teacher about his anger issues at home, they've not seen that in school. Her concerns are due to him having serious anxiety at any change in routine or change to class structure. Also his social issues (he's being bullied). So fingers crossed with both CAMHS and the SEN team involved we can get him (us!) the help we need.
    Any advice or info on the procedures involved with either CAMHS or the SEN involvement would be much appreciated xxx

  • Sounds a familiar story - I found it hard to get the problem recognised as my son was academically good.

    What I would suggest is do the best you can to treat your son as an individual. Others will compare him to siblings ( I have twins one with and one without Aspergers - its not helpful)

     Do you have a family friend or grandparent who can help you get some individual time with your son and give him some space. I would try really hard to get out just for a cake at a cafe or a change of scene on a 1-1 basis.

    Keep pushing for a diagnosis. Once you get it things should be easier as you should be able to access support.

    Don't be afraid to choose a different school for him. The pressure on siblings is hard too - with differnt schools they get some space too.

     

  • Sounds like Aspergers to me. It looks like you are heading in the right direction with a referral to CAMHS. Don't let them fob you off. You have the right to have your son assessed for ASD, as encoded in law by the Autism Act.

  • I forgot to say he also hates crowded places (eg. museums, shops - especially cluttered busy ones like Primark!), loud noises, busy family gatherings (he spent his birthday in his bedroom!).  He loves one on one time, but on his terms.  And he very very rarely shows affection, and when he does - he's as stiff as a board (eg. cuddles, he just leans on me, doesn't use arms, and you can feel his whole body is tense).