Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I rang GP yesterday about my 10yo daughter. She has been displaying different traits for years but I have wanted to wait until she is older before deciding whether to get some intervention as she overall dossnt seem 'that bad'. However this has changed recently and she seems to be getting worse so I found the courage to ring GP and was fobbed off. Just given a website to look at (obviously I've done a lot of research prior to phoning!) And told to speak to the school.
The thing is, the school doesnt have any concerns, at school shes shy and quiet and would never have a melt down, complete opposite at home. My husband has 10 years experience working with autistic young adults and he has said for years she is on the spectrum but how do you get professionals to listen to you?
Main concerns:
Routines; she likes a routine, she copes better with ipad at certain times, shell do her morning routine at 9.30am, likes lunch at 11. We do recycling on a wednesday and if I ask her to help me on any other day she cannot cope that it is not a Wednesday.
Repetitive movements- shes always walked/skipped a few steps one direction then changes direction and she can do this for an hour and has done this every day for the last 5 years. She either hums at the same time or repeats a sentence over and over. She tells me she has a story in her head. More recently shes developed tics, eye squinting and jerking her head back.
Difficulty with gross and fine motor skills- coordination isnt great shes very clumsy and drops things a lot. She finds small things fiddly and still struggles with knife and fork.
Melt downs- she will have this over anything at home, the slightest thing she can cry and shout at but not at school. Shes very sensitive. At school she would never do anything wrong and is polite but at home she is completely different.
Taking things literally- she doesnt understand sarcasm, if you said 'pull your socks up' in jest she would. Her friends can be bitchy or manipulative but it goes over her head she doesnt get it.
Also and I am not sure this is an actual thing but she seems to be quite self absorbed, she displays a lot of sympathy but seems to lack empathy. If I was unwell it would be 'oh well you will get better'or if she has done something wrong she just lacks the guilt? I'm not sure I'm still trying to work this one out and not sure it's a trait in itself.
Any advice welcome xx
Hi, sorry not much advice but I am I a very similar situation. My 10 year old son has previously had an assessment for ASD just over 2 years ago.
There have been sensory issues since he was 2, the texture of clothing on his skin is a particular problem for him.
He also will only eat very safe foods and stick to the same thing for lunch.
Meltdowns are becoming much more physical and agressive.
Showers are a massive problem at the moment as he finds this just too overwhelming
Like you say school is not an issue, it is like he contains all his emotions until getting home. Though he has recently started having issues with his peers which is a new problem.
I wrote everything down pretty much as you have here and sent it to GP requesting they send a referral to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Servixe for assessment. Just heard this will take a year due to covid delays so we are left in limbo about diagnosis, support and any practical advice.
Hi.... You sound like you have a really comprehensive understanding of your daughters difficulties and the Dr's really do have to listen to these. I would recommend asking for a different GP if the one you have approached has not been receptive.
It may help to bullit point all the traits you have mentioned and your concerns. So you can real these off when asked (you have probably already done this...)
The sympathy/empathy is a tricky one... I am autistic and have intense empathy that at times can be overwhelming... However if someone told me they were ill I would probably respond in the same way as your daughter. This is more to do with difficulties with communication than that I don't care. I also feel huge amounts of guilt to the point that at times this can be paralysing for me but I would struggle to communicate this too...
As a female that recieved diagnosis in adulthood I would say stick with it. Go back to your GP until they do listen, you know your daughter best and you have done your research. I think if I had had the right support earlier on then perhaps some of my struggles could have been lessened.
I wish you and your daughter all the best.
It's worth doing some research into the way autism presents in girls - they are usually much better at concealing it which makes diagnosis more difficult - the more you know about it, the more you can help guide her and spot when she's overloaded and help her decompress from stressful situations.
Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately I dont think I can afford that so will have to go down NHS.
She's approaching the time where any support she requires will be of the most help.
If you have the resources, getting a private diagnosis is much quicker - you just find out who the best people are in your area and get your doctor to refer you. It's expensive - over £1000 normally - and you need to make sure that the clinic or psychologist is properly accredited and any full diagnosis is accepted by the NHS and schools (some clinics do a half-azzed job and so your money is wasted and their diagnosis will be rejected everywhere). Google is your friend. Ask lots of questions before parting with your cash.
NHS diagnosis route can be very long - maybe a couple of years.
Forgot to say sorry that when she was younger I couldnt take her anywhere busy she would get overwhelmed. She would put her hands over her ears for hand dryers and loud noises. Now she is better with those sorts of things but her diet is very restricted. She basically survives on a very minimal food group and wont try new foods or if she does she gags. She has thr same food every single day for breakfast lunch and tea. X